Page 10 of Until Nalia
“I don’t know,” Harmony mumbles. “I’m pretty sure it means that you are open to seeing other people if someone else you’re interested in comes along.”
“Maybe you should ask him to clarify,” Willow suggests when she catches me gnawing on my bottom lip. It would be my luck that I agreed to an open relationship without even knowing I was doing it. I just can’t imagine Cole suggesting that we have one.
We’ve been together for over a year, and he’s the first guy I’ve dated who isn’t a dick or all about himself. He’s sweet and normal, with a good job, too. When I told him I was moving, he was a little disappointed but understood why I would want to be closer to my family, especially since I was now responsible for Zuri twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
“I’ll ask him tonight.” I look to the edge of the table when our waitress shows with our food.
“I hope you girls are hungry.”
“Starving,” I tell her as she places my plate of pancakes in front of me. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, do you need anything else?” She looks between the three of us.
“I don’t think so,” Harmony says after we all shake our heads no.
“Alright, I’ll be back around to check on you in a few,” she says before she wanders off.
“Okay, how is Zuri doing?” Harmony asks as we all start to dig into our food.
“She’s doing good. She’s made a few friends who have convinced her to join the school play in a few months, which I think could be good for her. She is also signed up for soccer. That starts soon, and she’s excited about it.” I cut off a bite of my pancake. “She loves her teachers and the school.”
“Are there any boys she likes?”
“I don’t think she’s reached the stage of liking boys yet, but she has mentioned that there is a boy in her class who’s a jerk.”
“What kind of jerk?” Harmony asks.
“I don’t know, I’ve asked her, and she won’t say more than that. I’ve thought about e-mailing her teacher, but I’m not sure if I should.”
“I would e-mail,” Harmony says, while Willow says.
“I would wait and see if she says anything else about him.”
“You guys are so helpful.” I pick up my coffee with a smile and take a sip.
“As I’m sure you’re starting to notice when it comes to motherhood, you never know what to do, and someone always has a different opinion.” Harmony shrugs. “Just listen to your gut.”
“How are you doing?” Willow asks. The question is soft, and so is the look on her face.
“It’s been an adjustment, but honestly, I just worry about Zuri. I want her to be happy. I want her to like it here.”
“She seems happy to me, but that’s not what I asked.” Her gaze locks on mine. “How are you? Are you okay?”
“That is a tricky question.” I take another bite of pancake.
“Why?” Willow asks as I chew and swallow.
“Because the truth makes me feel guilty.” I pick up my coffee and take a sip.
“I don’t understand,” Harmony says softly.
“For so long, I felt like I was living a double life. I had all of you guys, whom I love, here, and then I had Sharon and her kids in Colorado. And although my relationship with Sharon has always been strained, my relationship with my other siblings hasn’t been. I love them and they love me, and with Zuri, our bond is even stronger because I was there from the time she was born. And now, with Sharon locked up, I have Zuri with me, where I know she’s safe. And I’m back here with my family, and I’m happy, but I question if my happiness has come at the cost of Zuri’s. She lost her mom. Maybe not forever, but for the foreseeable future, and I took her from the only home she has ever known, and even if she hasn’t said it, I know that has to hurt.” I bite my lower lip as my sisters both stare at me. I rarely open up about things with Sharon or how I’m feeling, and can tell by the looks on their faces that they are surprised or maybe even caught off guard by my honesty.
“Can I ask something?” Willow asks after a long moment.
“Yeah.”
“I know you told us that Zuri spent a lot of time with you and a little of what life was like for her.” I nod, wondering where she’s going with this. “I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but do you think that maybe Zuri is happy too? I mean, I’m sure she misses her mom, but she doesn’t have to worry about where her mom is or who will be picking her up from school or what tomorrow will hold. She knows that you’ll be at the school to pick her up. She knows that you two will go home and make dinner and do homework or whatever your evening routine is, then she will wake up the next day and do it again. She has stability, which, from what you’ve told us, she didn’t really have before. Or at least not outside of what you gave her when she was with you.” Her eyes search mine. “We’ve only known her a short time, but she is not the same girl who showed up here with you a few months ago. She seems to be blossoming at least from the outside looking in.”
