Page 34 of Until Tomorrow Comes
“Holy shit, that actually works.” Disbelief is evident in my tone. I hadn’t felt fully calm since I woke up and realized Kat wasn’t in the house. “I normally have to run two miles to feel this calm after a night…” I trail off.
Kat has enough on her plate and doesn’t need to worry about the person she’s staying with having his own trauma.
Hell, between the two of us we could fill a cargo plane with our baggage.
Silently, she reaches over and takes my hand back into hers. We stay like that for a while, standing together. Finally, Kat drops my hand and starts walking down the beach. I follow behind her, unsure of what else to say or do. After wandering quietly for a few minutes, both of us lost in our own thoughts, Kat breaks the silence.
“Some mornings, being out here is the only thing that pulls me completely from the memories.” She states quietly as she bends over to pick up a small light pink seashell, wiping the sand off and pocketing it.
“Is running the only thing that brings you back?” she asks.
I stumble on my next step, catching myself with an awkward cough.
Over the past three weeks, we’ve spent a lot of time together, something that has surprised me. Since returning from overseas I have been at peace with my solitude. Yet, Kat showed up and fit right into my quiet life. We never talked about that night in her room. Nor have we ever touched on what happened with her husband. Instead we tiptoed around each other’s trauma and learned random things about each other instead.
I had thought that with everything else going on in her life, she hadn’t noticed anything bothering me, which was something I was perfectly okay with.
Outside of Doctor Davis and some of the guys at the VA, I don’t talk about the memories that are raging war in my mind.
Then again, I’m never actually around anyone besides my mother long enough to give them the chance to ask.
Suddenly, Kat’s hand is on my arm, stopping me alongside her. I forget all about what she asked the moment I see her expression. One of her hands rests on her chest, while she shakes her head and gapes at me for a moment.
“I am so sorry, I don’t know what came over me to ask something so…” She trails off, looking away as blush spreads across her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to overstep. I’m sorry.”
I reach my free hand up, covering hers where it still rests on my arm.
“It’s okay, Kat.” I say gently, surprising myself with the sincerity of my words. I clear my throat, waiting for her to meet my gaze. “You simply caught me off guard.”
“I’m sorry, just ignor—” She starts to say but I shake my head.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I squeeze her hand before dragging it down and intertwining our fingers. I let out a deep breath and start walking again, bringing Kat with me, while I gather my thoughts.
“How did you know?” I question, hoping to stall my answer. It’s not that I want to brush her off or keep things from her. It’s simply that I don’t want her to be worrying aboutmeon top of everything else she has going on.
Kat lets out a snort before slapping her free hand over her mouth and turning her wide eyes toward me. Another laugh slips free as she vehemently shakes her head causing me to stop in place.
She lets go of my hand, leaving my palm feeling cool and empty at the loss, to hold both her hands up in surrender.
“I’m sorry, that was not a laugh.” She claims in a rush, and I raise a brow at her while crossing my arms. “Okay well it was definitely a laugh but not in a “omg you’re so funny” kind of way.”
She runs a hand through her hair, gathering it all in one of her hands before draping it over one shoulder.
“It’s just…I mean come on, what sane person gets up before the sunriseevery day?” She pauses for a breath before holding up a finger for each point and continuing. “Old people, parents, someone with a job to get to, and people who can’t sleep.That’swho is up before the sun. You’re not old and don’t go into work. So, unless you’re hiding a kid that you run to check on every morning…”
She trails off, glancing away with a shrug.
“Or maybe I’m just hoping that it’s not just me that can’t sleep. In which case, ignore me.”
Kat moves to keep walking down the beach and I follow after her, trying to think of the right thing to say.
“You’re not wrong.” I call after her, shoving my hands in the pockets of my shorts and focusing on the waves as they creeped toward my feet before retreating. “And yes, normally it takes running two miles to bring me back.”
From the corner of my eye, I see her stop before turning toward me, with a nod she pauses to collect another shell. She doesn’t push for more information and seems almost content to just stroll with me.
From that morning on, instead of my daily run to get myself out of my head, Kat and I fall into a routine of walking along the beach together.
13
