Page 46 of Cross Check My Heart
“Your father left us to move to that damned state, chose to leave us all high and dry. So, it really shouldn’t surprise me that history is repeating itself with you too.”
Lilly blinks once. Then again before gaping at the phone in disbelief.
“You count sending countless emails, letters and phone calls that got declined as leaving us high and dry?” Her mom is silent for a moment.
“What are you talking about? You haven’t sent me any emails or letters. Hell, you barely text me any —” Lilly cuts her off.
“I’m talking about dad.”
“Your dad never —” She cuts her mom off again, and all I can do is continue holding Lilly close in hopes she takes it as a silent reminder that I’m here.
“He never what? Never tried to make it to graduations? He never tried to see us? What exactly did he never do, mom? Because according to his emails and the drawn-up lawsuit that he never filed, he tried to do a lot more than you let us believe.” Her mom is silent as Lilly sucks in a deep breath. Without even noticing, she leans more of her weight into me, as if this conversation is physically draining her. When Lilly’s mom finally responds, her voice is nothing more than a whisper.
“How do you… Who told you…” She stutters but no full sentences come out. Lilly takes another deep breath, leaning her head against my chest as she picks her phone off the counter.
“Dad. He gave me a place to stay, free of charge. So, when he asked if I would meet him for dinner, and then lunch after that, I said yes. Figured that, since my mom raised me to not take advantage of people, the least I could do is meet him halfway since he’s giving me a place to stay. Imagine my surprise when he made a comment about how it hurt that we never wanted to see him.” Lilly pauses long enough to take a breath before she continues.
“Imagine my surprise when I found out that the only reason I havehatedmy own father for the past nine years, was because of lies. You told us that he didn’t want us, that work was moreimportant than all of us. You let us believe that he probably had a string of mistresses or a whole new family that was better than us. When really, he only left you. He tried to see us, to be in our lives, but you wouldn’t let him!”
I run a hand along her back, feeling her shake beneath it, hating that she is dealing with this. When I asked if she wanted to confront her mom, she said it wasn’t a conversation to have over the phone. Lilly wanted to see her face-to-face to better understand what her mom had been thinking. But it’s as if hearing her mom imply that she’s down here to hoe it up and be like her father, like that’s a bad thing, was the final tipping point.
“Lilly, your dad left us all. He chose hockey over his family, and it was only a matter of time before one of those trashy women who hung around finally roped him in. I did what was best for us and kept him away.”
“You did what was best for you.” Lilly sighs, wrapping one arm around my waist, holding me to her. Not that I would think about letting her go right now. Her mom starts defending herself but Lilly cuts her off.
“We’re not talking about this right now, not over the phone. I’m not texting Cam back, both of you need to get it through your head that we’re done. I gotta go, I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk about this more.”
Lilly ends the call and drops her phone on the counter. She turns fully into me as she wraps both arms around me. I envelop her in a hug, holding her to my chest as she starts crying in my arms. After a minute, I bend down to pick her up.
Cradling her in my arms bridal style, I head toward her couch and sit down with her in my lap. Holding her to me as she takes her time, while I simply rub her back hoping to ease away the tension in her body. I can’t imagine what she’s going through, but I do know how to be here for her. Whether she wants to talkor simply cry about it now and circle back later, I’ll make sure she knows I’m here when she needs me.
We stay curled together on the couch for a while longer before she finally relaxes fully against me. Tipping her head back, she gives me a sad smile that doesn’t reach her puffy red eyes.
“I’m sorry, if I had known the conversation was going to take that turn, I wouldn’t have kept her on the phone.” I flash her a small smile.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” Brushing a stray curl away before cupping her cheek in my palm, my eyes roam her face. “Are we talking about it or avoiding it?”
Lilly watches me closely, taking a long moment to think about it before finally shaking her head.
“I mean, you heard the conversation. She thinks I’m like my dad. That I just up and left so that I can hoe around.” She lets out a humorless laugh. “I almost made a comment thatCamwas the one who cheated, that it’shisfault that I left in the first place. But if I’m realizing anything from all of this, it’s that when her mind is set, she full heartedly believes she’s right.” Closing her eyes as she rests her head on my shoulder and lets out a heavy sigh. I stay quiet, letting her lead the conversation.
“You and I have talked about all of this. About her and what she kept from us or lied about when it comes to my dad. About the whole Cam situation and the fact that they all think he walks on water. Until I actually see my mom and brothers in person and we can sit down to talk about everything while she has to face all of us…Nothing is going to change.” I hold her a little tighter.
“Well, if and when you want someone to talk or bitch to, I’m here.” She smiles up at me, this one more relaxed, less forced.
“I know we live in a state that everyone comes to for vacation, but I feel like I need a vacation after that conversation.”
My mind jumps to the tickets.
“Where would you want to go?” There’s no hesitation in her response.
“Definitely a beach. But not like the ones here, somewhere with that really blue and clear water. Somewhere quiet and calm.”
My heart races, but I push past that. I move her off my lap, setting her down on the couch while I go to grab the tickets. Taking a deep breath, I turn back and hand them to her. She sits up, eyes wide as she gapes at the tickets for a long minute before whipping around to face me.
I rub at my jaw, unable to take her silence anymore, I start rambling.
“I have four days off at the end of the week, since our first game is on Tuesday, and I had the thought that getting away somewhere would be fun. I know we can’t do anything public, especially with the season about to start and reporters picking up their stalking game. So, I found a remote bungalow down just outside of Key West. We can grab some groceries on the way or even find some small, local restaurants. But if you don’t want to, that’s totally cool. I’m sure I could get Garrett to go with me. Definitely would need to switch the rental so I don’t have to share a bed with him though.”
