Page 14 of Ravishing Among the Roses
“Yes. He did. Some of the boys, they knew boys who worked on the streets and that was a dangerous business, but we were lucky. We had clients who treated us right because they wanted to come back and use Walt’s services again.”
“That’s good.”
Gabby frowned. It couldn’t be this simple. “You aren’t disgusted by me? I’ve done this a lot with many men.”
Edmund bit his bottom lip. “Why would I be disgusted? You said you liked the job, you were good at it, and you were safe.”
Hope flared in Gabby’s stomach, like a radiant heat that spread through his torso. “You aren’t bothered by it?”
“I’m not sure.” Edmund’s honesty was a cold lump that rose like a bitter taste in the back of his throat, but then Edmund tilted his head and licked his bottom lip. “I find myself quite curious.”
Curiosity he could work with. “Ask me anything.”
“I am not sure what I want to ask. I’m worried that I don’t know what I’m doing. I am not very experienced, it’s only been me and my hand, and a few fumbled attempts at school with other boys. I’ve never ...”
Gabby almost smiled. The new clients had always been his favourites, the ones who wanted so badly but had neverdone anything. “Edmund. Are you worried about your lack of experience in bedding men?”
“Yes. It’s embarrassing. It has been easier to hide in the country and never think about this than explore anything. I—” He shook his head, and Gabby kissed him gently on the lips.
“Relax. It’s easy. It’s supposed to be fun.”
Edmund’s eyes shone with sincerity. “Good, because I could never compete with so many others. What if I’m not even as good as the median man?”
Gabby didn’t really understand what that meant but he understood nervous anticipation and worrying about not being good enough. “Edmund, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not being paid to be here. This isn’t my job. I want to be here with you. I only wanted you to know because it’s important for you to decide.”
“To decide, what?”
“Imagine if you’d found out later? Wouldn’t you feel betrayed?” Gabby had seen it happen to some of the boys he’d worked with, when they’d pretended, and the avoidance of truth had always ended badly.
“I’m not sure. Maybe I might? Thank you for being open with me. But what about now? How will I know if I’m good enough?”
Gabby kissed him again. “I’m choosing to be with you. I want to be here, and I think whatever we choose to do together will be good because we are good together.”
“We are?”
“We are. I would know. Trust my experience when I saw what we have is special.” He laughed a little, a weird nervous sound that came with a flush of embarrassment. “Men used to pay me to say that, that they were special. I’m choosing to be here with you without the taint of commerce.”
“Oh! Does that make it different?”
“Absolutely. When I was working, it’s a performance. The clients all wanted something from me, and I provided that service. With you, we are both here because we like each other. There’s an honesty between us that makes it different.” And Gabby knew he’d done the right thing by talking about this, because he wanted to be honest with Edmund. He wanted no secrets to sit in the dark waiting to hurt them.
Edmund released his lip and ran his tongue over the small indent left by his teeth. “I believe you.”
Three simple words that made all of Gabby’s worries disappear. “Thank you.” He leaned in to kiss him but Edmund placed his finger on Gabby’s lip, searing him with his touch. He was so much more responsive to Edmund than to any of his clients, which wasn’t a new concept. Sex for fun was always like this, different to sex for work, and with Edmund it felt like even more, like it could become forever.
“Did I offend you by not paying when we...” Edmund’s cheeks flushed bright pink making his eyes seem even darker.
"No. You could never."
Edmund frowned and Gabby knew he had to explain further. “It’s a bit like eating, you know. Sometimes you go to a dinner party and eat food that you didn’t choose because that’s what is expected of you. Other times, you eat because you want to eat, and you love it because you’ve selected the food yourself.”
“And sometimes you eat to stay alive.” Edmund’s flush dissipated. “And I didn’t offend you? I wasn’t sure of the rules.”
Gabby grinned. “I make my own rules, and I offered to suck your cock that night because I wanted to. Trust me when I say it was a treat that I gave myself.”
“A treat.” Edmund’s blush shone, the brightest his face had gone all night, and Gabby leaned in close to kiss his cheeks.
“Believe me, I adored every moment of it, and I can’t wait to do it again.”
