Page 110 of The Sky Pirate's Stowaway
“Not enough, clearly,” I said bitterly. “I haven’t allowed myself to care for anyone since Eric because his betrayal hurt so bad. It hurt so badly, I wanted to die. So when I find out you kept this from me—”
“You don’t understand the magnitude of this secret, Max,” Kaspar interrupted, a flash of anger in his eyes. “Nobody ever could. No one can understand the fear I’ve had to live with every single day, every single moment, since the second my power emerged. I… I’ve lived with this secret—with this fear—for so long that it’s second nature to hide it. But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I was desperate to tell you. And I’m glad it’s out now, just so I’m not hiding it from you anymore.” His hand found mine, fingers stroking my arm gently.
I studied his face—the face I’d come to know so well. I couldn’t stay angry at him. Not when I understood fear so intimately myself.
Reaching up, I cupped the back of his neck, aware we were in clear view of the engine room window, but in that moment, finding it difficult to care.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his tear-stained cheek. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, the tang of salt spreading across my tongue. “I understand. I wish you’d told me, but I do understand.” I ran a hand through my hair, the stress of the situation pressing down on me like a physical weight. “We’ll talk more later, but for now, we need to go upstairs. See what’s happening with the ship.”
Kaspar didn’t move. His eyes, still wet with tears, held a hollow, distant look that sent a chill through me.
“Max,” he said, his voice eerily calm. “Thank you for everything. For these past weeks. The crow’s nest. The sky-drop. Spending time with you…” He swallowed hard. “It’s been the most precious thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Something in his tone made my skin prickle with dread.
“When we go up in a moment,” he continued, “I’m going to throw myself off the ship.”
My heart stopped, then thundered back to life with painful force. “Don’t be ridiculous.” The words came out strangled, barely audible over the blood rushing in my ears.
Kaspar looked away. “It’s the only way. I can’t let myself be plugged in, Max. I just can’t. Even if I’m unplugged again, I won’t survive. Nobody ever does.”
I grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to face me. “Look at me. Look at me, Kaspar.”
Reluctantly, he raised his gaze to mine. Those green eyes—like sunlight filtering through forest leaves—were clouded with despair.
“Listen to me,” I said, my voice low and fierce. “I’ll die before I let anything happen to you, Kas.”
His eyes widened, surprise momentarily displacing the hopelessness. “Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“No, I mean it.” A sudden conviction threaded through me, stronger than any I’d felt since my days serving in the fleet. “I promised you I’d get you to Asteris safely, and I still mean it. I’ll think of something. Even if it means I’ll never see you again.”
Tears welled in his eyes once more, spilling over onto his freckled cheeks. I brushed them away with my thumb, my hand lingering against his face.
“Come on,” I said, pulling us both to our feet. “I need to go assess the damage, and you’re staying with me.”
I gripped Kaspar’s hand. His fingers trembled in mine, but I held on tighter, wishing with every fiber of my being that I could keep holding on forever. That we could stay together, find some remote corner of the world where no one knew us, where his abilities wouldn’t matter, where my past couldn’t find me.
The thought of it—waking up beside him every morning, watching sunlight dance across his freckled face, building something real together—hurt worse than any amount of pain.
Because that wasn’t to be.
I tugged him along the hold, pausing before we reached the hatch, pulling Kaspar into a shadowy alcove. The distant sounds of the crew shouting orders filtered down to us, but for this brief moment, we existed in our own pocket of time.
“I’ll fix this,” I whispered, pressing my forehead against his. “I don’t know how yet, but I will.”
He nodded, but the resignation in his eyes told me he didn’t believe it.
All I could do now was make sure he survived this. Get him safely to Asteris, away from Viper, away from anyone who would use him for his power. I’d never see him again after that.
But that would be enough. It had to be enough.
20
Kaspar
The second Max released my hand to climb the ladder, coldness seeped into my veins.
I’d betrayed him.
