Page 59 of The Shadows Beyond
A wave of nausea shuddered through Cinn. Remembering the confusing way Julien had reacted to being thrown around, he fisted the hands that he’d allowed his anger to control. “Oh God—” Cinn started, before his throat closed. “Julien, I shouldn’t have…” His eyes flicked to the wall.
“What?” As if clearing his mind from a trance, Julien shook his head. “Oh, I didn’t mean to imply—genuinely, that wasn’t meant to be a guilt trip. It’s me that should feel bad. I shouldn’t have brought you here, Cinn. I’m sorry for being so selfish. I’m a worthless piece of shit sometimes. You’ve every right to hate me. I’ll book you on a flight for tomorrow morning, if that’s what you want.”
A pensive silence filled the space between them. Cinn’s lingering fury from earlier was now at war with the deep melancholy in Julien’s expression. This new Julien alarmed him. He’d have taken any other version right then, if it meant freeing Julien from the prison of this one.
Cinn took one last sizeable gulp of the smooth honey whiskey before setting it on the coffee table. Julien hadn’t moved a single inch in minutes. Shuffling closer to him on the settee, Cinn reached up with gentle fingers to tip Julien’s chin towards him, resting his hand on his thigh. Grey, unblinking eyes stared at him.
Cinn’s anger dissipated like a sunbeam piercing through fog. “It’s okay,” he said, against his better judgement. He’d likely live to regret letting the princeling off so easily, but he couldn’t cope with thosesad, sad eyes. “Fucking hell, I don’t hate you. I… I can forgive you. But stop all the bullshit. If you want me as a friend, treat me like one.”
“I don’t expect your forgiveness.”
“Well, you’ve got it, so don’t waste it.”
Julien sighed, running a hand over his face. “I won’t. Promise.”
Cinn dropped his hold on Julien’s chin, but kept his hand on his leg, unable to pull it away from where it was tethering them together. “Why don’t you just cut your father out of your life?”
“He’s too fucking influential within Auri’s consortium. All the chairs are meant to hold equal weight, but his motetech business liaison role has made him untouchable. He’s wormed his way into everyone’s pies, so to speak. It could mess up my future if I go too far against him. Anyway. Let’s not spend any more energy talking about him.”
Julien wrinkled his nose in disgust before reaching over to grab the whiskey from the table. He wrapped his mouth around it to drink from it, pulling off it with a softpop,all the while giving Cinn an almost challenging stare.Then he did it again, dipping his lips down a little lower on the bottleneck.
“What are you doing?” Cinn groaned.This fucking guy.
“What?” Julien asked, with a bat of innocent eyelashes.
Cinn reached for the offending object. “Give me that.”
Like he was fluid liquid himself, Julien ducked away from him, sliding off the sofa and taking two large steps backwards. “What, this?” Julien took another gulp.
“You’re going to be completely sloshed if you keep that up.”
A familiar glint in Julien’s eye. “What are you going to do about it?”
He should have whiplash from the abrupt change in dynamic, but instead he was only relieved. Maybe it was the whiskey. Or maybe he enjoyed Julien’s attention more than he wanted to admit.
He dove for the bottle, narrowly missing it as Julien darted away from him, tossing the liquid to the back of his throat. His next lunge wassuccessful—his arms wound around Julien’s waist, and he snatched the whiskey from him. Pushing Julien against the wall, the writhing man twisted in his arms in time for him to see Cinn finish the bottle off, pouring the alcohol into his mouth so quickly, much of it spilled down his neck.
Laughter erupted out of Cinn, cathartic and cleansing.
It died in his throat when he felt the hot press of Julien’s tongue against his neck. Licking a drop of liquid from his collarbone to his jaw. The bottle fell to the floor with aclink.
A small involuntary moan came out of Cinn’s mouth before he could stop it. “Julien,” he started, tangling his hand in his blond waves and making no effort to gently push him away. Both of Julien’s arms wrapped around Cinn to clutch the back of his shirt.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Cinn said, his voice weak to his own ears.
Julien’s mouth moved next to his ear. “Why not?” With the gentlest of caresses, he brushed a thumb across Cinn’s cheek.
So, so many reasons why.
Strangely, none of them were coming out of his mouth.
He should remove Julien’s hand from his cheek. He should tell Julien not to touch him. He should take five steps back.
But he didn’t.
“Why… why are you like this?” What exactly he meant by this, he couldn’t articulate, so he flung his hands in the air instead.
“This?” Julien whispered, one hand still cupping Cinn’s cheek, the other sliding up the nape of his neck to entwine his fingers in his hair, knocking his beanie to the floor in the process. “What am I right now, Cinn?”
