Page 72 of Monsters within Men
“Goddamn it!” Noah shouted. To nobody, as Zeke could no longer hear him.
Zeke threw his arms out in an alarmed ‘what’s going on?’ gesture.
Noah shook his head, pulling Zeke back in the direction they were last with the others, while they raised their arms over their visors to keep the worst of the rain off their helmets. The glass was supposed to be water resistant, but that notion currently felt comical. If a cluster swarmed them right now, they were dead. Flashes of lightning sliced through the dark sky and Noah increased their pace, tugging at Zeke when he fell behind.
The space where they’d left the others had been abandoned. It was impossible to guess what direction they’d gone, so Noah picked one at random and ran as fast as he could without slipping, dragging Zeke along with one hand and vaguely aiming his rifle with the other.
Zeke pointed at something, waving his arm around wildly. Up ahead was a small structure, barely bigger than a shed, its tiled roof miraculously intact. Its existence puzzled Noah for a moment before he finally understood what it was: a decrepit bus shelter. An old-fashioned one, mostly found in small villages or towns, made of concrete and bricks. Zeke clutched at Noah’s arm, jumping up and down like when Wolf was excited, and dragged him towards the tiny building.
Noah tried to shout at Zeke over the storm, but it was no use. He gestured at the open doorway to the building and put his thumb down.
Zeke pointed to something on the floor and then gestured to the bus shelter. A heavy-looking fence panel—recently ripped from its past life, if the fresh splinters along its right edge were anything to go by—lay on its side on the floor, a handful of steps from the shelter.
Together, they dragged it towards the shelter. It was difficult to manoeuvre, but eventually they positioned it over the gaping hole, sealing off the wind and rain, and the world.
“We’re safe for a second.” Noah tugged his helmet off, turning the headlight on and placing it on top of a pile of rubble to create a makeshift lamp. Zeke copied him, and soon the small interior, illuminated by their lights, became visible. A rusty saucepan sat glumly in the corner, lying on a bed of shattered glass from the timetable board.
Zeke stepped closer to him, shivering. “Did you see me kill that type?”
He bit back a smile. Zeke’s eyes gleamed with pride. Although he really should lecture him for running off alone, he couldn’t bring himself to.
“Of course.” He slapped him on the back. “Well done.”
Zeke’s face lit up like a firework and he grinned to himself before asking, “Has this ever happened before? Both audio feeds failing?”
“Don’t worry. We’ll have the radio signal back again in no time. The back-up generator will just need a kick or two.”
The wind howled outside, an angry beast seeking its prey. A pang of worry for Wolf shot through Noah, but he pushed it aside. Vitt would make sure he was alright.
They collapsed on the bench, looking worse for wear with its scaly patches of paint. The awkward tension between them that had momentarily been forgotten made its way back in full force, and an uncomfortable silence filled the air. Noah knew he needed to say something, fix it, apologise. But instead, he picked at a spot of paint, covering his black glove with flakes of blue.
After a while, Zeke reached out and grabbed his hand, stilling it. “Stop that.”
“Why? We have nothing else to do.”
Zeke sighed, but didn’t let go. After fumbling around with his glove’s catches, he tugged it off. He grasped Noah’s hand gently as he pulled it closer to the light, inspecting it. His behaviour confused him until Zeke brushed his thumb over the pale, small half-moon shaped scars on his skin, noticeable only to someone who knew what they were looking for. Zeke pushed his sleeve up—the inch or so that the material would allow—his face blanching when he found more marks peppering Noah’s forearm.
Noah’s cheeks prickled with heat. He pushed Zeke off, tucking his bare hand away by folding his arms. “It’s never on purpose.”
“What does that even mean?”
“You try leading a squad, pointlessly fighting day after day in an impossible war, while mourning a dead boyfriend,” he spat. “See if you come out of that entirely sane. Back off, okay?”
His words had the desired effect: Zeke shrank back from him, shuffling away on the bench. He looked almost afraid of him, which drove a nail through Noah’s heart. Noah reached for him, but Zeke flinched.
“Don’t,” Zeke warned.
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What’swrong? Are you kidding me right now? How about the fact that yesterday you kissed me, then ignored me, and then immediately tried to get rid of me?” Hurt shimmered in his eyes. “Does that ring any bells?”
Noah’s chest constricted. How could he have been so idiotic? So cruel? “I didn’t try to ‘get rid of you’. I was only trying to give you the way out you’ve desperately wanted over the last two months.”I was only trying to keep you safe. To properly protect you the only way I can.
“I’ve also been working my arse off for the past two months.” Zeke’s voice shook with anger as he kicked at the ground. “I thought you believed in me,” he said. “Then you just… gave up on me.”
Noah’s heart split in two. “No!” How could Zeke think that? “Of course I believe in you, Zeke.”
“Then why did you ask me to run away?”
