Page 59 of Monsters within Men
Their eyes bored into each other’s for a moment before Zeke looked away, overwhelmed.
“Whatever happens, you don’t want to get sent into the Hole. You’d be beaten, and… much worse… in a heartbeat.”
“But I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s death.”
Noah fisted his shirt sleeve and used it to wipe away Zeke’s tears. Eventually he said, “Nobody died, Zeke. Frankie isn’t even upset, or in any way annoyed. You know what she’s like. She’s more worried about you.”
“But Habib—”
“Shh,” Noah interjected, pressing a finger to Zeke’s lips. Noah’s thumb stroked his cheek in soft, circular motions. “Let me handle him.”
Zeke blinked. What was happening right now?
A brief knock at the door interrupted them. There was just enough time to spring apart, Noah slipping back into the chair, Zeke sitting up, before Doctor Herbert came rushing in.
“It’s three a.m. You’d better sneak him out of here now before changeover. We’ve flushed it all out. His charts are all good. Just make sure he drinks plenty of water.” Doctor Herbert’s tired eyes swivelled between them.
“Thanks, Leo. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.”
“Sure. I’d say anytime, but…”
“It won’t happen again,” Noah promised.
Zeke squirmed. “Thanks,” he muttered quietly, returning his gaze to the broken tile.
“You can thank me by being nice to him,” the doctor said, nodding towards Noah. “Don’t scare him like that again. He might look tough, but he’s a delicate flower underneath all those layers.”
“You’re too kind, Leo. We both know I look about as tough as a teddy bear, but I’ll take it.”
Before Leo and Noah could continue their nauseating back-and-forth, Zeke swung his legs over the side and picked up his trousers from the table on the side. Doctor Herbert removed his drip, and they were out in the frigid nighttime air in no time. The eerie silence of Avantis as they walked back to Beech block only compounded his awkwardness towards Noah. Zeke walked slightly ahead of him, unsure of what to say. When they finished climbing the stairs to their floor, Noah caught up with him, grabbing the back of his coat.
“Wait,” Noah said, his voice low. “Come into my room to sleep. So I can keep an eye on you. And so you don’t wake the others.”
Zeke hesitated for a moment, but wasn’t sure how to refuse, so followed Noah through his door.
“What the—” Zeke cut himself off, eyes widening as he took in Noah’s bedroom. It was in utter disarray. The mountain of laundry heaped messily in the far corner spilled over half the floor—how did Noah even have so many army-issued uniforms? He could barely make out an inch of surface space on Noah’s desk and a small paper bin, overflowing from flattened cardboard, sat near a haphazardly made bed, the sheets rebelliously crumpled up in a pile, leaving the bare mattress of the single bed exposed.
“Sorry,” Noah muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, sheepish. “Nobody ever comes in here.” He set about remaking the bed.
Zeke stepped towards the small desk, a glimmer of reflection from the glass of a framed photograph catching his eye. It captured a bright sunny day. Noah filled the frame, his arm around another man in a position so intimate it could only be Khyan. Both of them were gazing at each other, rather than the camera, smiles etched onto their faces.
He stepped backwards, a sudden urge to escape overtaking him. “I think I’ll just go back to my room. There’s only one bed in here, anyway.”
“You take the bed. I’ll nap on the floor. It’s only a few hours until dawn now, anyway. Wolf will keep me warm.”
After kicking the assortment of items on the floor into a pile to clear space, Noah threw down some blankets for himself, curling into a ball with Wolf beside him, the dog already snoring again. Zeke lay down slowly on the bed, pressing himself against the wall, facing away from Noah. He considered suggesting Noah join him—after all, they had both fit on the hospital bed earlier, just about. But the silence stretched on for too long, and so his mouth remained clamped shut.
Waves of nausea and tiredness from the drugs hit him like a brick. He barely even recalled any blissful moments of oblivion that taking Old Billy’s pink pills had given him. What an absolute idiot he’d been. And now his actions meant that they would get a fraction of the sleep they needed before having to face another day battling vicious monsters.
“I’m so sorry I ruined your evening,” he whispered into the dark. “I really wasn’t thinking properly. Sorry you and Leo got dragged into it. Let me know how I can make it up to you.”
“It’s fine, Zeke. You can stop apologising,” Noah replied. He started saying something else, but hesitated, before finally continuing, “Go to sleep. You need rest.”
He pulled Noah’s duvet over his head, inhaling its musky, woody, resoundinglyNoahsmell. What would have happened if Leo hadn’t interrupted them at the hospital? Various images wrestled their way to the surface of his brain before he forced them down again. He needed to sleep, not fantasise about completely inappropriate, impossible scenarios.He was just being nice,he chided himself, as he finally slipped into sleep.
Cold, bright sunlight streamed from Noah’s window, snapping Zeke upright with a lurch. He’d overslept. His wristband informed him that it was almost noon. A small piece of torn paper rested on the pillow, a hasty handwritten scrawl that read:Turned off your alarm so you could rest. We’ll be on the field.
Next to the note was a cheese sandwich. He couldn’t help but smile, despite the shame that circulated in the pit of his stomach. He’d caused Noah an absolute headache, not to mention embarrassment, and the guy repaid him with undue kindness?
