Page 123 of Monsters within Men
“This is for Zeke, for Luo, for all the soldiers lying dead in that barn, you absolute piece of shit!”
There was blood everywhere. It soaked his hands, his chest, his hair. It covered his ruined calf.
Good. Let them come. Let this be over.
Wolf watched his display with judgment, making soft whimpering sounds.
Noah rolled off Tobias, falling onto the rocky ground and pulling off his helmet, throwing it far. He whispered, “Come here, boy,” and Wolf crowded him, pressing his soft body against him. He fumbled with his combat suit, removing it piece by piece. Finally, he found what he was looking for. He wrapped his dog tags around Wolf’s collar, making sure they were as secure as could be. Kissing the dog’s nose, he said, “Go back now, Wolf. Go back to Vitt.”
Wolf howled, nuzzling his snout into Noah’s chest. He knelt to inspect Wolf’s wound. It didn’t look too bad. Meredith would be able to patch him up.
“I know, I’m sorry too.” Noah pulled Wolf’s head up to look deep into his brown eyes. “You go protect them, boy. They’re gonna need you.”
Noah whistled a complicated array of tunes, gesturing wildly to the west. Eventually, Wolf barked once, and trotted away from him, looking back twice with sad eyes.
And then he was alone.
But not for long, he told himself. Noah’s world had ended. For the third time. For the last time.
Staring up at the cliff in front of him, his plan formulated within him, clear as day.
With each painstaking step on the arduous ascent, a tapestry of memories unfolded in his mind. Habib and Vitt, laughing with him by the lake during his first year with them. Walking with Khyan through the woods, hand in hand. Him at the beach with his family, throwing his younger brothers into the water. And finally, Zeke. Oh,Zeke. Zeke, who’d already stolen his heart, even though he’d only known him for a handful of months. Zeke, who’d given him the thing he needed most to keep going: hope. He felt nothing but love in his heart as the top of the cliff hurtled towards him. Why hadn’t he told Zeke he loved him before it was too late? But enough of that. It was futile now.
He reached the precipice of the cliff, staring down at the hundred-foot drop. The snowfall, attacking his cheeks with wet bites, obscured his view of the bottom. Somewhere behind him came the short, erratic bursts of birdsong from a nearby warbler.
Noah hovered his bad leg over the edge, a warm glow seeping through his body. As a child, he’d stretched out on the grass in De Biesbosch, looking up at the bluethroats, wishing he could fly away with them.
And now, he would.
He was going to fly like a bird for a few moments.
A few, glorious, peaceful moments.
He stepped off the edge.
thirty-four
Noah
Noahwasfalling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling… backwards?
Staring up into the grey sky, thick with falling snow, he felt powerful arms surround his stomach and drag him backwards, further and further from the edge.No!
Someone slapped his cheek with such force his head swivelled to the left.
“You absoluteimbecile.”
After wriggling free of the unwanted embrace, Noah sat up to find a furious Vitt, a disturbed-looking Frankie—her hand pressed against her chest—and finally Wolf, sitting beside them, looking pleased with himself.Fucking traitor.He stared at them until Vitt stepped forward, gripping both arms to shake him.
She waved his dog tags in the air. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Noah, unable to withstand the pain in his leg in addition to the pain in his heart, collapsed onto the cold, wet ground, his body already heaving with heavy, body-shaking sobs. “Did Wolf bring you here?”
