Page 29 of Monsters within Men
“So you can feed them,” Noah said, his eyes twinkling.
Stunned into silence, a warm, fuzzy feeling invaded Zeke’s chest.
“Noah… This… This is very kind of you.”
Noah ducked his head. “I wanted to cheer you up. I know you still don’t want to be here, and I appreciate the effort you’ve been making. And Frankie, of course,” he added quickly. “Besides, I like foxes too. None of the others appreciate the outdoors as much as me. I could use a walking and bird-watching partner.”
The sound of the quiet rustling of dried leaves spared him from replying. Both their heads snapped forwards. Zeke drew in a sharp breath before holding very still. A small fox, probably under a year old, took two cautious steps out of the den, freezing when it saw them in their not-so-covert hiding place. After a moment, the young creature, its sleek, orange coat lightly speckled with mud, fully emerged from the den with a playful bounce in its step, its sharp eyes taking in the surroundings with curious interest.
“Go on,” hissed Noah into his ear, his mouth’s proximity sending a shiver down Zeke’s entire body.
Moving at a snail’s pace, Zeke crept towards the fox, pausing when he was a few feet away to throw the contents onto the ground. At first, the fox jumped back, leaning on its haunches and flattening its ears. But upon smelling the food, the fox lunged forward, grabbing the facon and moving away to chew and swallow it in the corner of the clearing.
Zeke glanced back at Noah to see that he was taking pictures on his wristband.
“You can send these to Zaya. Show her we’re not completely torturing you here.” Noah’s low voice didn’t bother the young fox, who snatched up the rest of the food, greedily gobbling it down. Noah laughed. “Hey, you were meant to save half of that for your friend!”
A surge of bravery shot through Zeke as he said, “We’ll have to come back again with more,” before shooting Noah a smile.
“Sure, but you’re helping me steal the food from the kitchen next time. Then, at least if we’re caught, we go down together.”
“Deal.”
That night, Zeke lay in his bed, awake long after the others were snoring. A sense of determination and purpose settled over him. When Noah had called him brave earlier, it sparked something within him. Something that begged to burn bright. He was going to try as hard as he could to become the soldier that Noah needed him to be. That Squad E needed him to be. That London needed him to be.
For the first time since Zeke arrived, he didn’t drift off to sleep with his usual feelings of exhaustion, dread, and loneliness. When he slept, he dreamt of two foxes in a moonlit forest, brushing up against one another as they ran.
eleven
Noah
NoahstudiedZekefromacross the fire pit. It was only the two of them now—the drop in temperature earlier had sent everyone else hurrying back inside.
Zeke had fallen asleep half an hour ago. His languid strokes through Wolf’s fur had become slower and slower until his arm flopped lifelessly over the dog’s snoring frame. Noah was supposed to be finishing a whittling project, a raven mid-flight, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Zeke. He looked so beautifully relaxed like this—it made a pleasant change from his usual look of fear or disappointment in himself.
Noah should really wake him up and make him go to bed. Tomorrow would be yet another long day for him. But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to break the moment: the sight of Zeke draped over Wolf; the dying light from the fire’s embers casting harsh shadows across his youthful face.
This was the first time Noah had allowed himself to be alone with Zeke since the outing to feed the foxes, weeks ago now. He had enjoyed spending time with Zeke very much. Too much. Noah had only intended to get to know Zeke a little more, to further help him adjust to military life. But being alone with him stirred feelings in Noah that he thought he wasn’t capable of feeling anymore, ever since Khyan died. Zeke’s story of survival, his excitement at the fox, the way he had leaned into Noah…
Noah crossed the space, moving quietly to sit next to Zeke and Wolf, entangled together. The synchronised rise and fall of their chests made him smile until he noticed a faint bruise on Zeke’s forehead, likely from when Habib threw him across the room earlier during close-combat training. Each time Habib came for him, Noah’s arms had twitched with the urge to jump in front of Zeke, to protect him.
But Zeke had surprised him with how he’d soared back up again and again, teeth gritted in determination. In fact, Zeke surprised him with every day that passed.
He surprised him when he turned up ten minutes early to training.
He surprised him when he asked each member of the squad question after question about their personal lives.
He surprised him when he overheard Zeke talking candidly to his sister during their morning voice calls on the walk to breakfast, the depth of his laugh ocean-deep.
He especially surprised him when he blushed bright-red whenever Noah caught his eye.
He ever so carefully brushed Zeke’s hair away from his face. He stirred, moving his arm so it rested on Noah’s. Then he gripped it tightly and mumbled something under his breath. Was he dreaming? Of what?
Noah really should wake him up.
Ten more minutes.Ten more minutes of stolen peace.
He tried to pull his arm away, but it only caused Zeke to grip it even tighter.
