Page 28 of Up In Flames
“This could be a lot of fun. I’m a safe option to explore this side of yourself, which is clearly present whether you want to acknowledge it or not. But you have to be ready to accept theoutcome. To accept the fact that you might like it. And I just don’t know that you’re there yet. But when you get there, I hope I’m the first call you make.”
My abs clench like I was just punched in the gut. Taylor and I aren’t even friends…so why does it feel like he’s breaking up with me?
I almost laugh at how ridiculous the thought is. This is what I need—him to be the rational one since I’ve obviously lost my fucking mind.
This is absolutely for the best.
I almost believe it…until he moves away from me and my truck, leaving me standing in the rain.
It only hurts because it’s someone else exiting my life…even if they weren’t supposed to be there in the first place.
I’m out back,sitting on my own covered porch, day drinking because everyone else has shit to do, but I’m all caught up until tomorrow. I briefly thought about driving over to the fire station, but I really don’t want to piss Stephanie off. Hell, she’d probably extend my probation just for breaking her rule.
I watch the rain bounce off the concrete sidewalk that leads from my patio to my yard and I can’t stop myself from thinking about the Landry’s project. It’ll look nice when it’s finished.
Of course, I think about their patio for all of three seconds…and then I begin thinking about their son.
I take another gulp of the amber liquid in my glass as my phone rings. My heart rate speeds up, and I’m mortified at the flurry of excitement I feel, thinking Taylor may be calling.
But when I look down at my phone, I’m caught by surprise all over again.
Karen.
My whiskey glass slips from my hand and shatters into a thousand shards at my feet while I stare at my phone.Godfuckingdammit.I’m only holding plastic shit from now on.
I still can’t bring myself to answer it, and this time, I get notified that she’s leaving a voicemail.
Karen and I started dating at sixteen. We were married by twenty. When we got married, I had planned on it being forever. Time moved on. I built her the home of her dreams, and she used her degree to help manage my business. It was comfortable. We took care of each other. If she was unhappy, there was never a conversation about it. Just the note on the kitchen counter telling me our life wasn’t working for her anymore.
And that was it.
Twenty years of trust and love down the drain. I haven’t spoken to her since.
Too jittery to stand, I sit for a while longer, clutching my phone, terrified it’ll start ringing again.
Oddly, I find myself torn between wanting to burn the traitorous device and clutching it to my chest like a lifeline.
But a lifeline to what?
Karen and my past?
Taylor and the present,my brain supplies, unhelpfully.
Knowing I won’t be listening to her voicemail tonight, I get up, go inside, clean myself up, as well as the glass on my patio, and change for the gym. It’s either that or drink until I pass out, and I’ve worked too damn hard to get lost in the bottle now...but with each passing day, that option becomes more and more appealing.
Chapter 12
Taylor
Knox sent me a text this morning to tell me they would be here at nine-thirty for the concrete redo. After the intensity of our last interaction, I need something lighter, and I have a sneaking suspicion he does too. Every interaction between us has been riddled with so much raw emotion, I don’t want him to dread being in my presence.
But it’s hard to back off when denial and desire are locked in combat. Knowing I need to tread carefully doesn’t change the fact that I’m hellbent on making sure desire stands as the victor.
With a plan in place, I take myself shopping and out for a quick lunch, checking in on Callum, calling Livvy, and shooting another text to Damon even though I know it will go unanswered.
At least I can say I tried.
By the time I pull back onto my parents’ street a few hours later, I’m ready to set my plan in motion.
