Page 21 of Up In Flames
Are you asleep or ignoring me?
That was a dumb question. Either way, you won’t respond.
Fuck my life.I can’t explain why, but I don’t want him to think I’m ignoring him. I know I’m setting myself up for an amazing amount of self-loathing in the future, but that’s a problem for tomorrow.
Knox
I’m not ignoring you.
Taylor
You sure about that? Doesn’t seem like you’re asleep.
Knox
I’m not really sure about anything right now.
Except that someoneneeds to come take this fucking phone out of my hands. What is it about the cover of darkness that makes a person think their actions won’t come back to bite them in the ass with the morning light?
I fuckingknowbetter…but apparently, I no longer care.
Admitting that small truth feels kind of good. It feels honest at least. Honest in a way I can’t be with my friends because I couldn’t stand it if they started calling, texting, or inviting me to shit out of pity. And they would. Because they’re good friends and want to be there for me, but opening up in some heart-to-heart isn’t my style.
I’m more of the suffer-in-silence type.
Taylor
Sounds serious. Wanna talk about it?
The mood has shiftedin this conversation, and I’m so tired of being the harbinger of negativity. The last thing I want to do is dim Taylor’s light or drag him down with my sinking ship. Despite the turmoil I saw in his eyes that night at the bar, it’sclear his soul is pure and kind, and he deserves to always wear a smile. I don’t want to be the reason he can’t, doesn’t, or won’t.
Knox
No. Enjoy your trip. I’ll see you on Monday.
Taylor
I’ll make sure you do.
Forty minutes later,I finally fall asleep envisioning spandex shorts and rhinestone freckles on a face I shouldn’t want to see, but God help me, I do.
“Full house,boys! Read ‘em and weep,” Cassie yells as she lays her cards across my kitchen table. I thought game night with my friends might help get me out of my head for a little while, and it’s been a nice reprieve even if I’m still silently fighting to keep the conversation from last night at bay.
“Fuck’s sake,” I mutter, throwing my cards down. “This deck is rigged. That’s the fifth hand you’ve won tonight.”
“I agree with Knoxy,” Jake says. “I’m out. I don’t have any more money to lose.”
Seven pairs of eyes swing to Jake. Even his own husband is looking at him with a raised brow.
“You know, for someone worth over a billion dollars, you’re awfully stingy when it comes to poker,” Cassie says toher brother-in-law while sliding her chips toward her already massive pile.
“Meanwhile, you’ve been a shark since the first time we let you play,” Phoenix tells Cassie. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve taught yourself how to count cards.”
My brows furrow as I look at my best friend. “I don’t think counting cards applies to Texas Hold ‘Em, Phoe. I think that’s just games like Blackjack.”
Phoenix shrugs. “Whatever. She’s still got some kind of voodoo up her sleeve.”
Cassie, Dylan’s twin sister, has finally moved back home. She brought her boyfriend Miguel with her, making our crew whole.
