Page 110 of Up In Flames
“That’s exactly what I told myself on the plane! Fuck, I’m such an idiot,” I lament.
Liv laughs.
“Most men are. But don’t beat yourself up too badly. We all make mistakes,” she teases.
As Livvy talks, calming my nerves, I exit the elevator and turn the corner to find Patrick sitting on the floor outside my door with his back against the wall.
“Fucking Patrick,” I whisper in shock.
He scrambles off the floor at the sound of my voice.
He’s wearing his glasses and a white T-shirt with a navy blazer, a look I once told him I loved. I recognize it not as a peace offering but as the manipulation tactic it is.
“Yeah, he was probably your biggest one,” Livvy says on the other end of the line.
“Liv, I’ll call you back.” I hang up the phone and address the man in front of me. “You need to leave.”
“I promise I’ll go if you just let me get this off my chest.”
Taking a deep breath, I relent. “Get it over with then, but know it won’t change anything, and if Knox doesn’t forgive me, I’ll kick your fucking ass myself.”
“I messed up, Taylor. Seeing you at the restaurant that night brought everything rushing back. The way it felt to hold you. The way you would come undone in my arms. The sounds you made. The look on your face when I’d spill inside of you. I miss all of it.”
“You mean you miss the way I ‘forced’myself on you?” I clarify, using his words from the night he ‘explained’ everything to my parents in their kitchen while I sat stunned into silence at his convincing lies. “The way I used your grief toseduceyou?” I step closer, making him take a step back. “You miss how Itook advantageof you the night your son and my brother found you fucking me in the living room, and you told them it had all beenmy idea?” I seethe.
“I made amistake, Taylor. A terrible fucking mistake that I’ve regretted more and more with each passing day.” He stares me down. “I’ve been reliving all our memories, and I’m going crazy. Seeing you on someone else’s arm…Tay, it’s all wrong. You should be withme. Tell me what it’ll take for another chance, Bird. I’ll do anything.”
Heated rage fills my body, starting at the soles of my feet and rising at a steady pace. Oddly, I wonder if this is what the Hulk feels like during his transformation.
“You made me second-guesseverythingthat happened between us. Youdestroyedmy relationship with my family…with mytwin brother!Did you know he hasn’t spoken to me since that night? You fuckingevisceratedme and wiped out my entire support system inONEconversation! I was ruined forMONTHS, Patrick, and when I finally began to feel somethingfor someone else, you were in my head, making me think I’d gotten it all wrong, that maybe Ihadtaken advantage of you, forced myself on you.You might have succeeded in sabotaging the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had, and I willneverforgive you for that. The best thing you can do for me now is stay the fuck out of my life.”
Patrick looks like he may fall to his knees any second. “I wasn’t ready for what we had, Taylor. It scared me. I was afraid of losing my son right after losing my wife.”
“Then you shouldn’t have pursued me the way you did. You shouldn’t have told me you loved me. You shouldn’t have made me believe it was real!”
“ITWASREAL!” he bellows. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe you had so much trouble moving on because we’re meant to be together? I just needed more time. But I’m ready now.”
“And now I’m with Knox, and you need to leave.”
“Taylor, I’mbeggingyou. Iloveyou. We can start over. We won’t even hide this time.” He reaches for me, and his fingertips graze my upper arm, burning my skin. Without another word, I turn and flee from my own apartment, desperate to escape the bullshit spewing from this man’s mouth.
Without Knox here to ground me, I feel wild, slightly off the rails. And the need to run is all-consuming. But this time, instead of runningfromeverything and everyone, I’m runningtowardsomeone.
I jump back in my car and peel out of the lot.
Chapter 39
Knox
This game of phone tag is fucking killing me. It’s been a busy night, and I can’t afford to be as distracted as I am, trying to get in touch with Taylor for the fifth or sixth time. Hell, I’m losing count.
His message asked me not to give up on him.
Give up on him? Is he crazy?
I’m fucking crawling out of my skin from wanting to hold him so badly.
Before I can call him again,the alarm goes off in the station, making me jump. It’s not really a sound you get used to.
