Page 92 of Up In Flames
“Oohhhhmygod,yeeessss,” Taylor cries. He shifts his weight to one arm and begins jacking himself off again.
A wave of desire hits me so hard I pull his hand off his dick.Mine, that inner voice demands again as I take over. With one hand penetrating his ass and the other trying to match the same rhythm on his cock, I slow both movements as his name falls from my lips.
“Taylor.” I’m dizzy with lust, and my voice sounds far away.
“Hm?” he hums, his face still muffled by the sheets as he fucks himself on my fingers.
“Is it too soon to ask you to fuck me?”
My question causes him to go totally still before rocking forward and rolling onto his back. I’m no longer connected to him, and I regret my question. He looks up at me, studying my features, no doubt trying to gauge if I’m serious before he gives his answer. “There’s not really a timeline for that. It can happen whenever we decide we’re ready.”
“I’m ready,” I blurt like a horny, overeager teenager. But when Taylor stays quiet instead of jumping at the chance to get laid, I lose some of my enthusiasm. “I mean, if you don’t want?—”
“Please don’t eventhinkabout finishing that sentence,” Taylor says, interrupting me. “This is a big deal, Knox. My first time wasn’t, but that’s because I’mme. I don’t want to rush this and risk screwing it all up because you’reyou,and your first time with a guy should be perfect.”
“And while I appreciate your sentiment, my mind is made up,” I argue. “I don’t wanta guy.I wantyou. I wantthis,” I tell him. “Please.”
I’m startled by the vehemence in my words.
Ten days.
That’s all it took to send everything I thought I knew about myself, sex, and relationships completely up in flames.
Chapter 32
Taylor
Iwant to hold out, go slow, take our time, but I also understand that Knox has never done this before and is eager for what comes next. If I were a better man, I’d put my foot down. I’d try to protect him and do whatever I could to convince him we should wait.
But I’m not a better man.
And truth be told, I’ve wanted to sink into him since the night I first laid eyes on him. I’m shocked at his request, though. I’d assumed he’d be asking to fuck me since that’s far closer to the norm he’s used to, but the need and desire dripping from him has my resolve crumbling faster than a house of cards.
“You’re sure?” I ask, needing to hear the words again. I hate Patrick for making me second-guess every interaction I have with Knox. Even now, the words Patrick said to my parents plague me.
‘Taylor used my grief to seduce me. I was weak, and he took advantage of that, making me think I wanted things my rational mind would never have agreed to.’
Fuck him for saying those things…and fuckmefor starting to believe them.
I try to push him to the back of my mind, unable to eradicate him completely when Knox answers.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
The seriousness of this situation has caused my impending orgasm to recede slightly as I mentally prepare to walk Knox through this. Wanting him to know his options, I offer for him to fuck me instead.
“It’s an easier transition, I think. It more closely resembles what you’re used to.”
“I don’t want what I’mused to, Tay. I want whateverthisis,” he reassures me.
Nodding, I choose to believe him, knowing if he regrets this in the morning, then he and I are over before we really got started,andthat I’ll most likely never recover.
“Go take a shower,” I instruct. “You’ll be able to relax more if you’re confident that your body is clean and ready.” I spend five minutes detailing the prep work I want him to do. All the unsexy things that go with bottoming, but that make all the difference in having a pleasurable experience.
When he comes out twenty minutes later, his expression is a mix of excitement, shyness, and anxiety.
I hold my hand out for him from my spot on the bed. “Come here.”
He comes to me easily and immediately kisses me deeply, reaching for my cock. I grin as I intercept his hand and lace our fingers together.
