Page 60 of Up In Flames
I don’t know much, but Idoknow that.
“I take responsibility for my actions,” I continue. “Which is partly why I still have the brakes on. I’m trying to figure out if I can handle what this looks like from the outside as well as what it’s making me feel on the inside. Truth be told, I’d originally planned to shut this down for good during that talk we were supposed to have last night,” I admit.
It was a hard conclusion to reach, especially because Taylor and all my friends are pushing for this unconventional union, but until you’re living it, it’s hard to take that leap of faith that your life won’t literally implode from your choices.
He licks those suckable lips of his before leaning forward and pressing them to mine.The more he does it, the more I want him to.
“And now?” he asks when he pulls back.
“Now I think it’s pretty clear I can’t deny my attraction to you, and honestly? I’ve lost the desire to try.”
Taylorand I pull up outside his parents’ house twenty minutes later. The entire breakfast I cooked is still sitting on our plates back home, but I couldn’t be bothered to clean it all up. Taylor tries to get out of the truck and into the house quickly so as not to be seen, but it makes my skin crawl, and I catch his arm before he can climb out.
“Hey. This is no walk of shame. Don’t feel like you have to rush or hide.”
He gives me one of his signature grins. “How come you’re so concerned with how I feel about myself through this, but you don’t give yourself the same grace?”
I raise one shoulder in a shrug like he did to me earlier. “It’s always been easier for me to focus on those around me instead of paying much attention to myself.”
He shoots me a wink. “We’re gonna work on that.”
I park and round the corner of the house to find Phil holding a ladder for Javi.
“Sorry I’m late, guys.”
Javi looks over at me, flashing an easy smile. “It’s not a problem. Phil and I are competent most days.”
Phil asks me to switch places so he can start feeding wire to Javi, and I jump in and steady the ladder. Half an hour later, Taylor opens the back door. He makes no move to step onto the porch, but I feel him watching me. A quick glance tells me he’s changed into a pair of his own shorts…and he’s forgone the shirt. His hair still looks like rumpled bedhead, and I have an urge, astrongurge, to drive my fingers into it again.
But he also looks paler than when we arrived, and he’s leaning heavily on the doorframe.
“Taylor, what’s wrong?” I ask without thinking about our audience. I really don’t care that Phil and Javi can hear me, and I’m not ashamed that Tay and I showed up together. I just know they’re going to want totalkabout it. But I don’t focus on that for long because Taylor’s injured, and he’s clearly not good at taking care of himself.
Taylor answers with a question of his own. “Do you have my medicine? My headache is back, and it’s killing me. Way worse than it was yesterday.”
Concern for his condition takes over my rational brain, and I begin patting my pockets frantically, hoping I didn’t leave the pills at my house.
Coming up empty, I let go of the ladder and swipe my keys from the top of my toolbox.
“Uh, boss?” Javi says from somewhere above me.
I don’t look up as I answer. “Yeah, Jav?”
“My ladder’s in the grass, and uh, I’m a little unstable up here.”
I look back at the abandoned ladder.
“Fuck,” I mutter. “Phil, can you grab that? I need to check my truck for something.”
Phil barely has his hand on the equipment before I’m running around the side of the house. It’ll be grossly ironic if I take time off from the fire station so I don’t injure one of those guys only to cause harm to my own employees.
I blow out a relieved breath when I find what I’m looking for in the cupholder. Racing up the stairs to the front porch, I don’t bother knocking—because the sound would undoubtedly make his headache worse—and I barrel through the front door like I own the place.
“Tay?” I call quietly. I’ve never used his nickname before, but getting this medicine to him is important, and using his whole name to find him would take too long.
I don’t have time for unnecessary syllables right now.
“In here,” he replies from a room to my left. I dash into the kitchen, grab some water, and begin unscrewing the cap on the medicine bottle, entering the living room a minute later when I stop dead in my tracks.
