Page 123 of Dark Little Game
“How… how long did you feel that way about me, Wes?”
He puffs out a bitter laugh. “I’m not fucking in love with you. Take your ego down a peg.”
My heart still feels like it’s being twisted.
I turn around and put my hand on his shoulder, because suddenly I feel the need to comfort him, not fight him.
“Then what was it?”
“Acuriosity. About men. Not just you. A realization that I’ve been blind to certain things for a long time, too. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, didn’t want to do anything that might change it.”
“Did I break your heart?” I ask, my words barely audible.
“Again. Take your ego out back and shoot it. You didn'tbreak my heart. I didn’t even know if I was attracted to men, but I don’t think you’re my type, Rayne.”
He gives me a long look.
And I really believe him. Wes and I are great as friends, but too similar to ever be together.
I see Weston differently now than I ever have before.
He’s always seemed so…sturdy.
Like nothing could bother him. Like he took any punches that life gave him, without faltering.
Now I see that there are facets to my best friend that I have been blind to, facets that I never got to see. Secrets he kept from me, too.
When the fuck did everything get so intense?
Weston shakes his head, scrubbing his palms over his face. “There are plenty of people I’ve beencuriousabout, Rayne. You’re not special. For my dick, anyway.”
I let out a long breath. “I had no idea. I feel so stupid.”
“I’m not ready for anyone else to know this. I didn’t want you to be my boyfriend. I just wanted you to be my wingman.”
I nod at him. “I still can be.”
“Not if you keep secrets like this from me. I’m going to need time, Rayne. My brother doesn’t deserve you.”
It echoes what he wrote about me in the Confessional.
But he steps over toward me and comes in to give me a tight hug.
And it’s like a catharsis.
A brief moment of calm.
Because we’re in the eye of a storm that’s so much bigger than both of us.
Weston and I will be okay.Eventually.
I’ve always loved Weston as a friend, but I’ve never thought about him any other way. I’ve never evenconsideredbeing attracted to him. I see him like he’s my own brother.
I feel safe with him.
Things feel easy with him. Felt, at least.
But the things that have been happening this semester are a lot bigger than that.
