Page 177 of Bonds of Hercules
Kharon chuckled as the Olympian turned and melted back into the crush of bodies like his life depended on it (he definitely could not handle all three of us).
“He probably had a small penis,” Nyx hissed as she twined slowly around my neck. “That is not good enough for us.”
“There is nousin this scenario,” I hissed back.
“If we were men,” Nyx said, “I’d have a bigger dick than you.”
Before I could think of an appropriate response (amicide—killing a friend), a woman in a pink toga and small laurel crown sauntered up to Kharon with a coy smile. The matching pink bird perched on her shoulder squawked with agitation in my direction.
“Leave,” Kharon ordered.
“Nice government drone,” I said.
The woman looked at me like I was deranged, then shook her head and recovered her composure.
“Hello,” she purred at Kharon and Augustus as she leaned forward, impressive breasts spilling out the top of her toga.
“Get out of here!” Nyx clicked her teeth. “Skanky whore.”
I choked on the two lamb sticks I was attempting to eat at the same time (I didn’t remember grabbing them off a tray).
“Youcan’tjust say that to people,” I whispered down to Nyx. “It’s so misogynistic.” A chunk of meat fell out of my mouth.
The woman looked at me again like she suspected I was crazy. She was very astute.
Nyx sighed and slithered down to my waist. “Please—women have already reclaimed the wordwhore. It’s not rude. It’s a fact.”
I squinted. “Wait … when did we reclaim it?”
Nyx made a noise like she thought I was the biggest idiot. “Uh, during theapocalypse. Where have you been, Alexis?”
Hell stood up from the floor with a yawn. “Belly … rub?” he asked me.
“Kharon will do it,” I said back.
“Walk away—or my hellhound will bite,” Kharon threatened, his eyes cold. “I’m a one-woman man … and she’s standing beside me.”
“Rub … now?” Hell growled with excitement, getting worked up at the thought and lying on his back.
The woman stumbled back in a scared rush.
Kharon bent down and patted Hell’s rib cage. “Good boy—way to scare the mean lady.”
I was surrounded by idiots.
“I’m going to try and murder them again,” Nyx hissed as she slithered off my shoulders. “Wish me luck.”
I did not.
Kharon turned to me slowly as our animals tussled violently (mine strangled, while his wagged their tails).
“Why … weren’t you mad at that woman?” Kharon asked.
I shrugged. “Uh—why would I be?”
Kharon turned so I was pressed back against the pillar, his body covering mine. “I willonlydo monogamy … My mother might be cruel, but the House of Artemis doesnotsleep around in relationships. We are absolutely devoted—or we arenothing.”
I struggled to speak, my brain fuzzy from his proximity. “Technically, isn’t monogamy a one-to-one ratio of—”
