Page 79 of Play the Last Track
“You did.” I nod. “We were at dinner the night after we were first together, and you went to the bar. You were talking to these girls, and then you hugged them. Later, in the bathroom, I overheard her tell her friends that you slipped her your number. Told her to call you when she got back to the States.”
Flynn shakes his head, his eyes wide and unfocused. “No. No, that’s not—”
“So you didn’t give her your number?”
“Fucking, of course not, Katie! I had just spent the night with you. I wasobsessedwithyou.Why the actual fuck would I give my number to some random girl?”
“Because you’re a flirt.” I feel my voice rising, the resentment bubbling under my skin. “Because you play professional football and get photographed with a different girl on your arm every other night. Because you take girls like Heather to charity balls and then never see them again. What was I supposed to think?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe not to believe everything you hear in the media?” Flynn sits forward, throwing his legs over the side ofthe couch and resting his elbows on his knees. He looks at me, pure disbelief in his eyes. “Do you seriously believe I would do that to you?”
“I—Not now. I don’t think that now.”
“But you did? Back in the summer?” I nod, and he scoffs, hanging his head. “Fuck. You didn’t even know me then. We’d barely scratched the surface, and you passed a pretty big judgment.”
“I know—”
“I think I’ve had maybe five, six, sexual partners in my life. I dated a lot of girls, but I was never a player. I wanted—want—a future with someone. I want marriage, a nice house, to come home and tell each other about our days. I want kids, a few of them.” He shakes his head, keeping his eyes firmly trained on the floor. “I know I come off as one of those cheeky, charming players that would love to mess around in the media, but I’m not. I’m not that guy.”
“I know.” I wrap my arms around my legs. “I’m messed up from Grant. I know it was wrong, but I saw you with those girls and I just … freaked out.”
“How many times did he cheat on you?”
“You say it like there was a time he didn’t.” I try to laugh it off, but thinking about it again just makes it hurt. Not necessarily about the cheating, but the effect it had on me. Especially now, with Flynn. I can’t even begin to know how to trust him fully, and he’s the perfect gentleman.
The perfect fake boyfriend.
“Jesus Christ, why did you stay so long?”
I shrug, tightening my hold on my legs. “I don’t know. I thought maybe it would get better. Then it didn’t, but I was … I settled. I settled for it.”
“You deserve more.”
“I know that now.”
“You deserve me.” Flynn looks at me, pain all over his face, the shadows jarring the lines in his face. “And I deserve you.”
A lump forms in my throat. I open my mouth, trying to find the right words, but I get stuck on them every time. Instead, I just find myself whispering, “Flynn. I want to be with you, but I just … I … ”
Silence surrounds us again. We stare at each other, the electric fire washing over us and warming the room, a single lamp casting jagged shapes all around us. It’s dark and messy, and hot. Like us, really.
“Are you going to move out?” he asks quietly when I don’t finish my sentence.
I blink, that annoyingly familiar sting of tears coming back. “Do you want me to?”
“No.”
“Neither.”
“But you don’t want to be in a real relationship?” he asks.
“I don’t—Do we have to label this? What we have right now is perfect. It’s as real as it gets.” I sigh, inching forward on the couch. “You make me laugh and feel safe. And, we’re really, really good in bed together. What is the point of defining this when we are perfect already?”
“So you just want to keep doing what we’re doing?”
I lean forward, slipping my fingers between his, my hands taking both of his, and I pull them into my lap. He watches our hands, letting me move them easily and turning his body toward me at the same time. “Are you okay with that?”
“I want to be with you, Katie,” he says. He squeezes my hands. “I want you for the long run. If you need time to come to terms with that, then I can wait for you to be ready.”
