Page 80 of Control Freak
“I wish,” I muttered, my cock already stiffening at the thought. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t do it in real life. In my fantasies, I explored Shiloh’s body with the patience of a man who had a desire without limits.
Cautiously, I reached out and enfolded Shiloh’s hand. I half expected to freeze up or jerk away, but once again, it was…okay. I was still hyperaware of the feel of his skin. My pulse was a little fast but manageable.
“Hey, there,” he murmured.
“Hey. Is it okay if we just do this for a while?”
“Yeah. Whatever you want.”
It wasn’t what I really wanted, but it was closer than I’d gotten to anyone who wasn’t having some kind of crisis. I was holding Shiloh because I wanted to, because I wanted to be close to someone, because…he gave me the space to feel safe doing so.
He never pushed me, and he never complained.
I held his hand until my eyelids got too heavy, then relaxed my grip, slipping away silently. But I left my sleeping bag open. Shiloh would never violate a boundary, and something about it was a tiny rebellion against the fears that tried to rule me.
If I couldn’t start letting down more boundaries, we’d never do more than hold hands, and the desire for closeness that burned under my skin wasn’t going away that easily.
I wanted a whole lot more.
CHAPTER 20
Shiloh
A breeze waftedover my shoulders. My nipples hardened as the chill of the drafty bedroom hit. Fabric slid over my skin, and goose bumps chased it.
My eyes fluttered open just as the sheet caught on my erection. It tugged my dick, then passed over it, making me gasp.
My gaze jerked up to meet Holden’s burning eyes. “Need to be closer to you,” he said, voice hoarse with need.
Fuck. His intensity unleashed a wave of heat through me. I spread my legs, tilting my hips up. “Anything for you.”
Was it the arousal talking? Yes. Was it also my heart? Scarily, yes. The last time I’d given my heart to someone, he’d lied to me and put a target on my back. But Holden couldn’t be more different. He would always take care of me. He was a protector. His bossy trait came out of a desire to keep everyone in his life safe.
And I did feel safe.
Whatever he wanted, I knew already that I would give it.
Holden reached for my hand. My heart skipped. We’d never touched during sexy time before. He folded his fingers around mine, holding my hand for a beat as he dragged the last of the sheet off me.
I shivered a little. Not from the chill now, but from the desire burning through me. My cock was fully hard, curving up over my abs, and my skin sparked as if electrified under Holden’s gaze.
The warmth of hand, a single point of contact between us, drew my focus. I was naked and hard, and Holden’s skin was touching mine.
“Holden,” I pled. “Please…”
I didn’t even know what I was asking for, only that Holden would take charge of my pleasure.
He drew my hand down toward my cock and released me.
“Don’t stop,” I protested, even as my fingers curled around my aching dick as if they had a mind of their own.
“Not stopping,” Holden murmured.
Carefully, he wrapped his hand around mine—holding my cock with me.
A pulse of lust hit hard.
“Show me what you like,” he said. “I’ve never done this.”
