Page 22 of Elanie & the Empath
“It’s a party,” she said, her shoulders sinking. “Everyone has a good time at parties. I’m having a”—her hands gestured vaguely in the air—“partykind of time.”
I hadn’t meant to, but I’d insulted her.Saints,non-empathic conversations were next to impossible. How did other species have them all the time without constantly offending each other? How did the rest of the beings in the Known Universe communicate anything to each other without this constant bone-deep insecurity? I’d never given them enough credit for simply continuing to exist inside a society. For not decidingto hells with itand living alone on some icy rock floating through uncharted space.
She stared at me, her eyes haunted. I knew I should probably let it go, lethergo, but I had to ask, “Are you okay, Elanie? Did something happen?”
Her lips parted on a sharp inhale as her finger whipped out at me. “It’s you,” she said. “You’re the one who asks me if I’m okay. This is all your fault.”
“Okay.”Shit.Had I screwed this communication thing up again already? “I’m…sorry?”
“Why did you ask me that?” Her eyes caught the light, glowing like amber. “Why didyouask me if I was okay? Is that a doctor thing?”
“No. Well, it is, I guess. But it’s a coworker thing too. A friend thing, I mean. It’s a thing friends do, ask each other how they’re feeling. It’s polite. It was a polite thing. I was just being polite.”
“Polite,” she repeated, placing her hand on her hip. “So you don’t actually care if I’m okay or not.”
“Um. I…”You are completely blowing this, jackass!“Of course I care if you’re okay or not. So, are you? Okay?”
A sea of emotions stormed across her face, too many and too quickly for me to have any hope of teasing them apart. “I’m fine,” she eventually said. “Thanks for asking.”
A serving drone would have sounded more convincing. She looked far from fine. She looked like she had something to say but wouldn’t let herself. Like water trying to burst through cracks in a dam held together by bubblegum, tiny pink thought bubbles filling, expanding all around her, ready to pop.
I lowered my voice. “Elanie, you seem upset. If there’s anything you want to talk about, we can make another appointment or?—”
“Stars above!” She stomped her foot, her heel clacking against the floor. “You just won’t let up, will you? Fine. I couldn’t do it, okay? I tried, and I just couldn’t.”
“Couldn’t do what?”
Her jaw clamped shut so tightly it was a magical feat any sound came out between her teeth at all. “I couldn’t look at my vagina.”
How did she do it? How did she continue to shock meinto stunned silence by saying these things I couldn’t anticipate?
Summoning all the calm I had left and borrowing some from my ancestors, I asked, “You tried, though? To look at?—”
“Yes,” she hissed. “And your drawing washighlyinaccurate.”
I nearly laughed. “Well, I never claimed to be an artist.”
“It looked nothing like your picture. It was hidden, first of all.” She glanced around, making sure we were still alone. “And when I uncovered it, it was pink and complicated and”—her nose crinkled—“slick.”
I packed that last comment away somewhere deep in my subconscious. “I’m sorry I didn’t have markers or colored pencils,” I said. “That probably would have been helpful. But pink is a completely normal color for that part of your body.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she shuddered. “It didn’t seem normal.”
“What is normal, really?” I asked, aiming for levity.
“Certainly not this conversation,” she mumbled, but her nostrils flared again. Amusement this time, I was sure of it.
To test my theory, I gave her a small smile in return, my lips barely tipping at the corners.
She didn’t scowl at me, which was progress.
“Elanie, your vagina isn’t going anywhere,” I said. “It’s yours for the long haul. If you want to try to look at it later tonight, ten years from now, or never again, it will continue to do its job for you.”
She was about to say something when the whirring of Chan’s hoverchair echoed down the hallway.
“Heyoo,” Chan shouted, waving at us. “What are you two up to?”
“Don’t you dare tell him what we were talking about,” Elanie warned with fire in her eyes.
