Page 9 of Elanie & the Empath
“Slippery?”
His mouth snapped shut. At least five billion nanoseconds passed by without him taking a single breath. Until he finally squeaked out a high and tight “mm-hmm.”
“That’s what I felt,” I said while he sucked his lower lip into his mouth. “When you touched my nipple, I felt warm and slippery between my legs. Like I was leaking. And you’re saying that’s normal?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. When he was done, he looked at me, then closed his eyes and scrubbed both hishands over his face. Eventually, he said, “Yes. I’m saying that is perfectly normal. It simply means that your body enjoyed the way I was touching you. Which was not at all intended,” he added, talking fast. “But it happens sometimes. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Hormonal beings are sensitive, and it can be confusing at first, learning the ways your body responds to pleasurable stimulation.”
“Okay,” I said, attempting to process this information. “But?—”
“I realize we’re really just scratching the surface here, Elanie,” he said. “But I have another patient in three minutes. If you’re comfortable with the idea, I would recommend talking to Blake about what kinds of touch feel good to you. Experiment with him. Try things out. Start there. And if he tells you that your breasts are lopsided again, have him come see me to have his eyesight checked.”
He held out a hand to help me off the table, and I stared at it. I didn’t want to leave. Not yet. Not when I was finally getting what I came for. “Can I make another appointment?” I asked, taking his hand. “I have so much more to learn. So many more questions to ask. Like, what is the purpose of a body leaking in response to arousal? What are the structures and functions?—”
“Next time,” he croaked out, letting go of me the second my feet touched the floor. Walking to his door, he slammed his hand over the sensor. “My schedule is available through the MedBay app on your VC.” When his door slid open, he waved me through. “It was nice to meet you, Elanie. Have a wonderful day andpleasegive Sunny my regards.”
Was that sarcasm in his tone? I could never tell.
“I will,” I said while walking backward out of his office. “Make another appointment, I mean.”
“I’d expect nothing less,” he said, sounding pained.
I didn’t necessarily feel like he was pushing me out, but I didn’tnotfeel that way either as he followed me to the door. With a curt wave and a tight nod, he mashed the sensor again. And just as his door slid closed on his symmetrical face and tousled hair, I heard a thump, then a crash, then a muffled cry of “sweet weeping Saints!”
He was a strange man. But maybe all Portisans were strange. I didn’t know many. Maybe the entire planet was inhabited by strange, stammering, sweaty-lipped empaths. It didn’t matter. I didn’t need him to be normal. I didn’t even need him to be friendly—which he was, I suppose. For the most part.
I only needed answers, and he had them.
4.SEM
There were alwaysmoments in a physician’s career when they really dropped the ball. Sometimes the mistakes were disastrous. Sometimes they caused injury or pain or worse. Sometimes they changed the trajectory of an entire career.
And sometimes they just made a guy sprawl out on his bed, stare up at his ceiling, and thinkwhat the holy hells just happened?
I’d replayed my visit with Elanie over and over in my mind, wondering how it had all gone so far off the rails. I never got flustered like that. I never let my patients derail me so thoroughly. I might be a lot of things: a perfectionist, a workaholic, a son who never lived up to his parents’ expectations. Lonely. But I was never flustered. I was always in control. Calm and collected. Cool.
Until today.
She’d already scheduled another appointment with me, which I was initially tempted to cancel. I wanted to refer her to holohealth instead, tuck tail, and tell her I couldn’t see her again because, quite frankly, she terrified me.
But then I realized that wasn’t true.
Shedidn’t terrify me. Only what she represented. I thought it would be the silence surrounding her that would send me reeling. But it wasn’t. Far from it. It was the chaos. The unexpected questions, statements,physiological reactions. As an empath, I was always one step ahead of my patients. With Elanie, I was sprinting behind her as fast as I could, tripping over my own feet just to keep up. Left frazzled and dazed and wondering if her reactions were really so shocking and abrupt, or if they only seemed that way to me because they were unexpected. Because I couldn’t feel them coming.
With some distance, some time, I couldn’t deny that the visit had been invigorating in a way. I’d been so uninspired lately. So dissatisfied with treating sniffles and space sickness and sprained…appendages. Maybe I was thinking of my interactions with her the wrong way. Maybe this situation wasn’t a disaster, but a challenge. Maybe, if I reframed my time with her as a learning opportunity, I could treat her more effectively. Maybe while I taught Elanie about the changes she was going through, she could teach me how to be a better physician without having to rely on empathy. Because, until now, I’d never realized how much I did rely on it. Could I be a good physician without it? Could I be a good person without it? A good friend? I didn’t know. Suddenly, I was desperate to find out.
It could work. I could be her doctor. I could help her.
So, we’re just going to skirt right pastyourunexpected physiological reactions to her? Is that what we’re doing?—
Captain Declan Jones’s stern voice in my head yanked me from the intrusive thought I was in no way ready to examine.
The airlock?That couldn’t be good.
I replied, stumbling out of bed and sliding my feet into my slippers.
I would have preferred not to race to the docking bay in my boxers and T-shirt, but when Captain Jones took that life-and-death tone, I knew better than to waste a single second getting dressed.
I commed, hustling to my office to grab my med bag.
