Page 85 of Elanie & the Empath
“That’s Mina,” Lars whispered, grinning proudly. “She’s my girlfriend.”
While I watched Mina use all four hands to work the pump at a speed that put my best efforts to shame, I said, “Congratulations.”
“The pump’s not too bad, right? Mina’s been running it for years.” Lars cracked one set of knuckles, then he grimaced. “You don’t look so good, Doc.”
Clutching at my aching back, I said, “Really? Because I feel amazing. Never better.”
Lars chuckled. “You’re funny. I thought all Portisans were super serious. Carrying the weight of the worlds in their heads and all that.”
I scowled. “You know, Lars, that’s a very narrow assessment of my people?—”
“There!” Lars barked a laugh. “Nowyou sound like a Portisan.”
“Wait? Why are we going this way?” I asked when hestarted down a tunnel leading away from the maintenance closet I’d wanted to investigate.
“Shortcut,” he said after a thunderous belch. “And this way, you get to see the entire underground.”
“Lucky me,” I muttered, studying the pipe that hugged the ceiling and ran the length of the tunnel. “Is that how the water gets aboveground?”
“Yeah, but don’t get any ideas. We’d be pulling your corpse out of that thing just like everyone else who’s tried to swim out over the years. It’s too long and too narrow. And Gol gets so mad when we try to escape. Doesn’t let us sleep for days. Doesn’t let us eat for a week.”
“Seriously?”
Lars ducked to avoid a flickering glowlight. “It’s why we don’t try anymore. One of us transgresses, we all pay the price. And it’s really not so bad down here, once you get used to it.”
Later that night, lying on my bed and staring at a ceiling that should have been stars, hugging a pillow that should have been Elanie, trying not to move because every muscle in my body protested when I did, I knew that Lars had been wrong. It was really, really bad down here.
Closing my eyes, I started to hum, just a little sound to push back against the crushing silence. I’d almost given in to my exhaustion when I realized the melody was from Elanie’s favorite song: “Oops, I Kissed Him First” by Macey Valentine. It was the only moment underground so far when I’d let myself cry.
32.ELANIE
I hadn’t leftmy hut. Barely left my bed. Inexplicably, the days marched on, my internal timing system collecting seconds, minutes, hours. It didn’t matter. Time didn’t matter. Because everything had stopped the day Sem left.
Sunny told me once that love could feel like an icepick through the heart. Now that my entire existence had been reduced to hugging my knees to my chest while crying into my pillow, I knew it wasn’t an icepick. It was a laser blast. A claw drill. A supernuclear bomb.
Aside from Gol, who’d encouraged me to leave the hut, to move on, as if that were possible, and Grover, who’d started looking at me like I was a lost cause, Mal was my only visitor. He brought clean clothes, even though I didn’t wear them. He brought food and drink, even though I didn’t touch them.
I missed Sem. I missed him so much I’d started hallucinating. Every night, after all of Thura went to sleep and I didn’t, I heard him. I heard his slightly asymmetrical footsteps, circling, pacing. One night, I swear I heard him sing,some barely-there melody rising through the floorboards of my hut.
I was losing my mind. Unraveling. Glitching out. Maybe that’s why today felt so different. Maybe I’d finally shattered so thoroughly there was nothing left to break.
A blizzard had raged outside the terradome, but today, blue sky shone through the skydome above me while sunlight streamed in through the open windows. A tree outside the hut had just begun to blossom, its tiny orange flowers smelling like clove and citrus. Grover snored at my feet, and I shifted under the covers, rolled over, and contemplated getting out of bed.
Sem was probably back on theIgnisarby now, or at least well on his way. He’d get back to his work, his life. Maybe he’d even forget about me. Maybe he’d move on, find someone new. Someone who wasn’t so complicated. Someone he could read and understand.
What was I going to do? Spend the rest of my days stuck in this hut, missing him so much I could barely breathe? Was that my fate?
Sitting up, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and wondered what Sem might tell Sunny or Chan or the twins. What he might tell the captains. Would he tell them the truth? If so, would they even believe him? Because it was a fairly unbelievable story. Almost absurd. An icy planet in the middle of nowhere. A hidden community. Two beings who otherwise would have never found their way to each other…
If he did tell them and they believed him, would they try to come for me? Would they send?—
My hands dropped from my face, my heart plummeting from whatever shadow it had been trying to hide behind in my chest.Stars above.What was wrong with me?
Even if Sem decided not to tell them the truth so that my life here could remain a secret, which was probably what he’d do, there was no way the captains or, dear gods,the twins, would ever let him get away with it. They’d question him until he gave something up. They’d subject him to psychometrics and truth scanners. They’d run reverse navigation on the pod. They’d never stop until they found me. And then they’d come, likely bringing Imperion warships along with them.
Even though nobody knew who or what he was, Golgunda was an infamous name. A word whispered in hushed tones across the KU, associated with stolen bionics and sabotaged vessels. A word Sem knew. A man he could describe and a hidden commune whose location he could pinpoint. Gol would never have let Sem leave. Gol would never letanyoneleave. Sem was either already dead or still out there, alone and freezing, while I’d been lying in bed believing every word that big green liar had said to me.
Sem was right. Thura wasn’t a good place and Gol wasn’t a good man. And maybe I wasn’t a good woman either. One taste of freedom, and I’d turned my back on the most important person in my life. Why? Why hadn’t I listened to him?
