Page 53 of Elanie & the Empath
He wasn’t getting it. He didn’t understand. I needed totry harder. “I mean, do you ever think about our purpose? What it all means?”
He gave me the sideways grin that always made tiny bubbles fizz inside my chest. “Having some deep thoughts today?”
I loved that grin, wanted to paint it, build a snow sculpture of it. I wanted to trace my fingertips over the curve of his lips, curl up inside the little dimple in his cheek and stay there forever. I shivered. My throat tickled, making me cough.
“Youarecold,” he said while I squeezed the back of my neck, massaging the sudden sharp pain spreading into my temples. “You’ve been working too hard to warm me up. I knew I’d end up draining you. Let me get the fire going again.”
Why didn’t he understand what I was trying to say, how important it was? “Why do you think we’re here, Sem?”
“Well,” he said, kneeling on the ground while he spun a stick in his hands, trying to get the ember to spark. “You heard a voice and went a little wonky—no offense—and then we more or less stole a LunaCorp escape shuttle. I wonder if they’ll make us pay for it when we get back. Saints, can you imagine the bill?”
“But that’s my point.” I rolled my neck until it cracked, which only made me dizzy. “What does a bill matter? What does LunaCorp matter? I mean, why does any of it matter to us anymore?”
He snorted. “I guess it doesn’t. Not right now anyway.”
Dropping to my knees in front of him, I said, “Exactly. What matters, Sem? What matters to you right now?”
“Right now? That’s easy: food, water, heat, and getting back to the ship.”
“The ship.” I gave a disdainful huff. “It’s always about theship. What about this cave? This planet? Something brought us here for a reason. Somethingwantedus to come here. Guided us.” I mimicked the actions of a puppeteer, my fingers dancing over the dirt. “We’re like marionettes, being led, pushed and pulled, brought together and—” I gasped, grasping his shirt in both hands. “The voice! He’s the puppeteer.”
“Elanie.” Sem’s expression shifted, sinking into strong angles and concerned lines. “Are you all right?”
Releasing him, I said, “I don’t want to leave this cave.”
“Thank the Saints.” He blew out a breath. “I thought for a second you were?—”
“Ever,” I stated.
“No worries there.” Huffing a laugh, he shook his head, still not taking me seriously. “If I can’t get the damn comms to work, we won’t be going anywhere.”
“Yes!” Maybe he did understand. “That’s why I had to get rid of it.”
He blinked at me, his long silver lashes feathering over his cheeks. “Get rid of what?”
“The comms.”
“What?”
“I got rid of the comms. Destroyed them. For you.”
His eyes went comically wide as he searched the cave, frantic.
“It’s not here, Sem,” I said while he flipped over rocks and scattered sticks. “It’s gone.”
If thunder could assume physical form, it would look like his narrowed eyes, the tight furrow of his brow when he asked, “Why in hells would you do that?”
“You’re not happy.” I knew this would happen, was prepared for it. “It’s okay. You’ll understand soon.”
Rising to his feet like a tidal wave, he glared down at me. “Elanie, please tell me you did not sabotage our only chance of getting off this rock. Please tell me you’re just practicing your jokes again.”
My processing was slow, bogged down and stuttering. But it finally sank in. He wasn’t just unhappy, he was angry. At me. Hurt lanced through my body, piercing my chest and twisting, making my head pound and my stomach roil.
“You don’t want to be with me?” I stood, turned around, and buried my face in my hands. Tears burned my eyes. “I knew you didn’t like me.”
“What the fuck is happening?” he whispered. Not to me, but to himself, I thought.
“I want to stay here.” I groaned into my palms as nausea buckled my knees and acid rose into my throat. “With you. But I guess you don’t feel the same.”
