Page 4 of A Christmas to Die For
"Honestly, no," Mara begins. "That was the one request Holly had—that we wouldn't show the photo. Why would you do something so stupid?"
My blood pressure spikes.
"You saw her reaction," I argue. "It was gold. Our fans are going to love her, and me, for asking the hard questions."
"You know what I mean. We have to be careful sinceThe Episode We Don't Speak Ofgot pulled. We're on thin ice, and I don't want to lose our viewership because you couldn't bite your tongue."
Mara's gotten more ballsy lately. I'm guessing she practiced this monologue in front of a mirror.
"Yikes, fine. I didn't think you'd bring up my biggest failure."
"Sabrina, if you want to stay in the top ten podcasts, you better stop acting like we have room for mistakes. We're barely getting the engagement we used to on social media."
"Need me to start double posting again?" Phoebe cuts in.
"No," I snap, right as Mara interrupts with, "Yes."
"Last I checked," I begin, my tone cold and sharp, "The podcast isn't calledCalloway of Sanity.It's my last name on this thing, not yours. My reputation means more because you two stay in the background, so if I want to ask a simple, innocent question, I'll damn well ask it. We got here because ofmyhard work."
"Ourhard work," Phoebe corrects, which is actually kind of surprising, since she usually tunes me out when I go on a rant like this.
"I doubt Holly's going to sue us because I showed the photo the whole world has already seen. You'reboth being paranoid."
"Just be careful," Mara warns me. "I can't handle another accusation thrown at us.We'veworked too hard for this."
As the days passedwithout a word from Holly or her lawyer—no cease and desist, no threats—I started to think maybe we were in the clear. Probably because I'd already gone into damage control mode, groveling like a politician's assistant caught in a scandal. I assured them we wouldn't include Holly's reaction to the photo in the final cut, apologized profusely, and then pivoted to our next episode's subject—which was, embarrassingly, no one.
The podcast is on its typical break, seeing that the holidays are approaching. Usually, we have a list of guests lined up, episodes scheduled months in advance. This time, though, we're completely adrift. Ever since we got sued for defamation three months ago, we've been walking on eggshells, terrified of screwing up again. Correction—Sabrina doesn't seem to care whatsoever, because I'm always around to clean up her mess.
Maybe that's why I can't let go of the grudge I'm holding against her, for putting everything we built atrisk.
It wasn't always like this. The cracks in our friendship didn't start with the lawsuit. They've been forming for a long time—hairline fractures spreading wider under the pressure of staying relevant, staying seen. You'd think after all the drama and stardom going to her head, I would've quit by now. But being Sabrina's personal assistant for the last four years has locked me into a stable role I never saw coming.
I'm not trained in podcasting or editing; that's Phoebe's realm. I manage Sabrina's calendar, book her travel, pay her bills, send birthday cards to her nieces and nephews, even schedule her pap smears. If it's messy, personal, or stressful, it's my problem. I know all her dirty secrets and she knows mine—well, most of them.
WhenMaske of Sanityfirst took off, it was thrilling. We were nobodies chasing something big, telling deep-dive survival stories, interviewing people who lived through the unimaginable, and sometimes, when we were lucky, the people who caused it. Sabrina's girl-next-door vibe—blonde, bubbly, disarmingly clueless at times—made her an audience favorite. Phoebe and I stayed in the background, doing the grunt work while she soaked up the spotlight. It worked, until it didn't.
Lately, everything's changed. Ever since Sabrina wrongly accused someone of murder mid-episode, our list of potential guests dried up overnight. Now, most of the people we actually want to talk to aren't answering our calls. Honestly, I'm shocked Holly didn't back out after the scandal broke, but she'd signed her contract months ago. Breaking it would've meant legal and financial fallout neither of us could afford.
Maybe it's the holidays and "the most wonderful time of the year" doesn't exactly make people eager to relive their brush with death, but the slump feels deeper than that.Maske of Sanitymight still be a top podcast in the U.S., but behind the scenes, we're barely holding it together.
Our "studio" is a joke—a cramped apartment with a living room pretending to be an office, a shoebox kitchen, and a bathroom you can't turn around in. But it's L.A.—you learn to fake it. Phoebe handles sound engineering, editing, and final cuts. I manage the disasters. Sabrina smiles for the fans and keeps living the influencer dream.
The rhythm's simple—a live show every other Friday, breaking down insane true crime headlines, and one polished, heavily-produced interview episode a month. Right now, though, we're in limbo, waiting to see if Holly's episode will save us or sink us for good. It's the only episode we have locked in for 2026.
When I open the door to the studio and find Phoebe hunched over her laptop, deep into editing Holly's interview instead of battling the Black Friday crowds, I can't help but laugh.
"You know we weren't planning on releasing that until the new year. Why are you working on it now?" I set down my messenger bag and grab a drink from the fridge.
"I know, I just wanted to get it out of the way since I probably won't be mixing or working on anything for a while." Phoebe sips from an obnoxiously large coffee mug, the messiest topknot of thick dark hair shifting slightly with the movement. "What are you doing here?"
"I brought some decorations. Sabrina loves Christmas, so I figured I'd make this place merry and bright."
After an hour of decking the halls, Phoebe speaks up. "Sabrina needs to stop saying 'um' and 'like' so much. Do you have any idea how much work it is to edit those out and cut to Holly so the viewers don't realize how inarticulate Sabrina can be at times?"
"I remind her before every recording to be more aware of it. When do you think the episode will be ready?"
"I'm taking my time with this one, making sure they can't come at us for anything. I might be able to include her reaction to the photo in a respectful way. But in Sabrina's defense, everyone's seen it. Reddit and X picked up the photo the second it was leaked."
