Page 176 of Grounded
"What letter?"
I've kept some important documents in a box in my closet, so I pull it out now and flip through until I find the one that forces her to relive the tragedy all over again.
Her hands tremble as she holds it, and I support her with my own so the words don't shake off the page.
"His…words. I can hear his voice telling me, and I–I—"
She's hyperventilating, the memories hitting her harder than I expected. She reads the letter again and again, crying harder than the last as she spends a solid five minutes running her fingers over his handwriting.
"I'm sorry, Mom. I never would have shown you this if I knew you'd react this way."
"Losing your dad was the hardest thing I ever went through. The timing of it all was horrible. I never thought I'd recover from it."
"What happened?"
"I came clean to your dad over a phone call." My mom is incapable of catching her breath between the sobs. "It was killing me. He knew something was wrong. I had to end the affair, but the damage was done on our end. We couldn't salvage what I destroyed. Gosh, I didn't know Dad sent this. I wish you’d told me. I wish I would have been honest with you. I hope I haven't ruined the chance to make this right."
"This won't be something I will forgive you for overnight," I inform her. "I'm still devastated Dad never came home after hearing your news. I miss him every day, and I'll always feel like you and Bruce were partially responsible. But I know therapy will help. And me moving out will help, too."
"You're moving out?"
"It’s time for me to get my own place."
"Are you staying in the area?"
"Yes, I accepted a position at a construction company. I'll be able to afford rent on my own, and I think it's best for everyone that I leave."
I'm aware my mom hasn't even given me her blessing to date her stepdaughter. To be honest, I don't need it.
I will always love my mom, and I know time will be able to repair things words cannot, but I also know I don't need to accept her betrayal and forgive right away. I'm going to take my time to ensure I heal properly.
"I love you, Mom. I always will. But a break might be necessary while I begin this new phase of my life."
"Are you cutting me out?"
"No, but I think I need to set some healthy boundaries for now, something I should have done when I came home. It's still hard for me to see you with someone other than Dad. I know I've had time to accept it, but it's still brand new to me since I ran away from it all."
"I understand. I can tone it down, too. I never meant to hurt you—"
"Mom, you're allowed to be happy with your second husband. Don't hold back on my account. But I think this is a long time coming, and it will be good for us."
She's still crying, and I know this is breaking her apart. The letter. Her finding out I've known all along. Me moving out because I'm struggling. My relationship with Amelia.
"Aren't you curious about Amelia?" I ask.
"Oh please, I've known from the day you returned home something was up. You think I didn't hear my son sneaking out in the middle of the night? Me waking up and seeing your swim shorts in the backyard when they weren't there at dinnertime?
"You knew?"
"I saw the way you looked at her from the first day you met. And then I saw the way she looked at you when you returned home. I turned a blind eye."
"Wow, and you're not mad?"
"Mad? No. Surprised? Also no. I'm cautious. I don't want anything happening to either of you. I adore Bruce's daughter, and I want what's best for you. You both deserve to be happy."
"I think I love her, Mom."
"I knew that, too."
