Page 165 of Grounded
He watches me leave, and I know I won't be able to avoid this topic much longer.
Myroomismysacred space, and I'm grateful no one bothers me up here.
Theo knows not to address the issue while our parents are home because even if we did talk in my room, I wouldn't feel comfortable laying it all out there.
So when he texts me around 10:00 p.m., my heart flutters. I was expecting this.
We meet in the garage and agree my car wouldn't wake up the entire neighborhood, so I get behind the wheel and drive toward the beach.
"Want to take a walk?" Theo suggests.
"Sure."
It's the only word I'm capable of right now. I park along the coast and we remove our shoes.
I follow behind him, and he turns to me and asks, "Are you okay?"
"Sure." My answer doesn't even make sense. I have a mini Amelia on each shoulder and I don't know which one to listen to.
The optimist whispering in my ear: See what happens. You deserve to be happy.
The realist shouting in my other ear: You’re not ready to date again! You’re close to falling apart over a rebound. You’re. Not. Ready.
"I have an awesome idea," Theo announces.
We drag our feet through the soft, luscious sand until we hit the part of the beach that is denser and easier to walk along.
"What's that?"
"We should get an apartment together."
"What?" I shriek.
"I connected with Hannah, the one who does real estate in Hollywood. She gave me her card at the reunion?"
"Uh-huh…"
"She has some contacts in San Diego, and I've been emailing a contractor. He needs someone who understands behind-the-scenes stuff. Lots of growth opportunities. I can explain more, but it sounds perfect for me."
"Live together, though? I don't plan on staying here forever. It's not part of my plan."
I'm reminding myself to breathe and allow a moment to think before I speak.
"You haven't found anything in LA. Why not see how the events work out? You made great money."
"This isn't my dream." So much for thinking before I speak. "I'm not meant to be doing this. I'm not meant to stay here in Del Mar."
"But I'm here. I'm in Del Mar."
"Theo…"
"We already live together. Why is the idea of an apartment off-limits?"
"Theo, we can't live together. Not like that."
"Doesn't it make a difference I have feelings for you? Don't you feel the same way?"
"Yes, but…"
