Page 29 of Hush Money
Finally, it’s five, and Todd and I are flying out of the office like a bat out of hell.
“Where to?” he asks me when we pull out.
“Just back to the apartment, please,” I say.
But when we get back, I’m deflated when I realize he’s not here.
I look around, but the apartment is empty. I turn back to Todd.
“Keaton had a dinner event tonight,” is all he offers before disappearing back into the study.
A dinner event?
Like, with his brothers?
Like adate?
Oh, god. My stomach swirls at the thought of the latter. I nod, walking down the hall to the living room. I order some delivery, flip through the channels, and attempt to read the book I’ve been putting off for too long.
Finally, I can’t wait anymore.
Do you think you’ll be home soon?I send off, holding my breath. It’s almost eleven, but I can’t even think about sleeping right now. Not till I see him. Not till I know if he’s okay, or if Tanner just unleashed all the hurt that I caused Keaton all those years ago and never really dealt with.
But before he can answer, I hear the front door open. I hear him kick off his shoes, and I hear the zipper on his jacket. I swallow and sit up on the couch, turning the volume down. He walks into the room, and my mouth drops open. His hair is slightly out of place, his white button-down highlighting his tan skin, and his eyes as sharp gray as ever. The stubble on his face only accentuates his perfect features. He is fucking devastating in the best way.
“Hey,” I say as he walks into the living room. He looks surprised to see me. I swallow, holding my breath, waiting to see if he’s sober enough to have this conversation—or any conversation.
“Hey,” he says back. “You didn’t have to wait up.”
“I wanted to,” I say. “Unless you don’t feel like talking.”
He drops his phone and wallet on the table and sits down on the couch. He swipes a hand down his face, and I wait for the smell of alcohol to drift through the air, but it doesn’t. All I smell is his panty-dropping cologne.
“We can talk,” he says, but he doesn’t seem overly enthused.
“Did you…uh, did you have a nice dinner?” I ask. I want him to offer something, anything, to let me know he wasn’t with another woman. Imagine that. Me, the married woman shacking up with him because I’m otherwise homeless, jealous that he might have had a date.
“It was fine,” is all he gives me. “Did you find something to eat?”
I nod.
“I…I just wanted to talk about what happened with Tanner today,” I say nervously. He leans back against the couch. I wait to see if he says anything, but he doesn’t. “I…I’m sorry that he?—”
“I don’t need you to apologize for him.”
I swallow.
“O-okay, I just…I guess I just don’t know…” my voice trails off. I know there is an elephant in the room. I know we’ve never talked about it. About the choice I made. About the way I hurt him.
I know I owe him that. I just don’t know what to say. Because I was so, so wrong. On so many levels. Even if things with Tanner had worked out, I owed it to the only honest person I had ever known not to abandon him.
“You don’t know what, Evie?” he asks, his eyes narrowed on me. His look is so direct, so focused on me that it makes me a little uncomfortable. Like I have a spotlight on me, and he’s the only person in the audience.
“I don’t know what to say to you,” I finally mutter. His eyes stay trained on me. I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “I never should have left things the way I did, Keat. I shouldn’t have leftyou. And I shouldn’t have come crying back to you of all people when the consequences caught up to me. But I did. And I’m so, so sorry. I won’t say I regret the choices I made, because I think there is some clarity in all this.” I feel the tears stinging my eyes,but I hold them back. He doesn’t deserve to have to dry them again. “I just want you to know that you were the most important person in my life then. And it turns out, you still are. I don’t want this to feel cheap or like I’m only apologizing now that I’m homeless and on the brink of divorce. But I just needed you to hear it. You are the only person in my life who has been there for me unconditionally. And I know things may be different between us, but I just need you to know how grateful I am to you.”
There is a long silence between us, and I can feel my heart thudding in my ears. He stands up slowly, putting his hands in his pockets. Then he finally looks at me.
“And…the uh…the embryos?” he asks quietly without looking at me.
