Page 79 of Roommate Wars
“Elise!” came a woman’s voice I didn’t recognize.
Elise sprang naked from the bed and almost fell over. “Holy shit!”
I sat up and reached for my boxers. “What’s going on?”
She pulled on the boxers she’d worn last night and dove for the long-sleeved tee I’d tossed across the room in my exuberance to remove it. “My mother!”
I’d never met a woman’s mother before, and this was one I wanted to impress. My throat went dry. “Did you just sayyour motheris here?”
“Jackson, get it together. She’s walking down the hallway!”
“Shit.” I couldn’t find my shirt, so I lunged for a new one from the closet while Elise opened the bedroom door, hair sticking up every which way. But it was too late.
I stepped outside my bedroom behind Elise and was confronted by two ladies of middling years staring at us.
“Mom,” Elise said. “What are you doing here?”
* * *
Elise and Max’smothers gave us a moment to brush our teeth, but the cat was out of the bag. Elise had combed her hair and put it in a ponytail, but other than that, we’d been caught red-handed and were wearing what we’d worn to bed.
I made coffee and dragged two dining chairs into the living room, where the four of us sat on or around the couch.
Brenda, Elise’s mother, looked between us. “Elise?”
Elise squeezed my fingers so tight they were turning purple. “Mom, you know Jack, Sophia’s old roommate… He’s my boyfriend now.”
“Boyfriend? And he was my old roommate too,” her mother said. “Hello again, Jack. Apologies for the uninvited visit.” She turned to Elise. “Sophia gave me the updated key code and said it would be fine to swing by, but I think I’ll knock next time.”
Elise leaving via the fire escape after our first hookup and now a passionate night busted by mothers—we never did anything the normal way.
Brenda had lived with me and Sophia while her home was being repaired several months ago, but this was the first time I’d seen her since Elise and I started dating. And I was in my boxers after defiling her daughter all night. My God, this was the worst meeting of the parents in history. “Brenda, it’s good to see you.”
Elise smiled at Kitty nervously. “We’ve never officially met, Kitty, but I’ve heard a lot about you from my sister.”
Kitty greeted Elise, then turned to me. “Jack.” She grinned. “I see you’re in good health.” She scanned me up and down as though she knew exactly what Elise and I had been up to all night.
“It’s been a while,” I said. “I take it Karl is well?”
The awkward small talk continued for a few more minutes until Brenda finally stood. “Well, we better be off.”
“We’ll be late for yoga,” Kitty clarified and tapped her Cartier watch. “Chop, chop,” she said to Brenda.
Elise stood, frowning at her mother’s outfit. “Mom, you can’t go in your muumuu dress.”
Brenda pulled up the hem of her flowy, floral dress and revealed women’s leggings. “I came prepared.”
Elise scratched her head. “I thought you didn’t go to conventional stores.” Apparently, Elise and Sophia’s mom preferred secondhand, whether it be clothing in Brenda’s case or fine art in Kitty’s.
Brenda put her hand on her hip and lifted her chin. “I bought them.”
“I’m impressed.” Elise turned to Kitty and smiled. “Thank you for bringing her into this decade.”
Kitty simpered. “Your mother has iconic taste, but some things must be updated, and sportswear is one of them.”
Brenda looped her arm through Kitty’s, and they happily made their way to the front door. But not before Elise’s mother stopped and looked back. “I take it you’ll be living with Jack for a while?” Her brow quirked suggestively, and I mentally cringed.
Ribbed over sex by the woman’s mother.My God, make it stop.
