Page 89 of Rock Giant
“Doesn’t mean I’m mad at you.”He’d never be mad at her no matter how trying the situation was.
“I think you must be.At least a little.”
“I promise I’m not.”
“You must be, though.This isn’t what you hoped to get out of it when you stepped up and promised me all that stuff.Why did you even?”
“I’m not mad, Castle.Disappointed, maybe, that the really hot chick that I wed doesn’t want a happily ever after with me.”As for why… Fate hadn’t landed the same red-hot goddess in his lap twice for no reason.They were meant to be, clearly.The stars had aligned twice to make certain of it, and eventually she’d realise it.Leastways, he hoped she would.The possibility that they’d instead wind up being star-crossed lovers was too horrid to contemplate.How lonely would that be?
“But you don’t love me.Paul, you don’t.We hardly know one another.”
He hushed her by pressing his ring-clad thumb against her lips.
“I’m not going to say it because I know you don’t want to hear it, but time has sod all to do with it.”Actually, he’d lied.He was going to say it.“I love you, Castle.Wholeheartedly.Undoubtedly.And I’m here for you.”
“Shit!”She scratched at her face, causing the skin to pinken.
“You don’t have to say it back.”
“Please.Stop.”She clapped both hands over her mouth.Her eyes a little too shiny as she looked at him.“Paul…” She remained contemplative a moment.Avoiding his eyes but fixating on his mouth instead.“I’m sorry.The timing is all wrong.I wanted you for so long after that first night.I kept hoping you’d call, or you’d turn up.If you had then, I’d have been…” She shook her head.“I really wanted to be yours.I wanted the big strong man who’d saved me from myself, and been so fucking kind, and made me feel so wanted to come back and make everything right.But he didn’t.You didn’t.I wanted you to call so much…”
“I didn’t have your number,” he mouthed, while covering her hands clasped in her lap with one of his.With the thumb of the other hand, he rubbed away the tear that trickled down her cheek.
“It’s too late now.I moved on.I had to move on.You understand that, right?God, if there was a way.If I could rewind time or split myself in two, then… Shit!”She pulled back, freeing herself from his touch.“I shouldn’t be saying any of this stuff.What good will it do either of us?It’s too late.I made other choices.”
She could unmake them.
“It’s too late.”
He didn’t agree, nor did he like to see her so agitated and be without a means of comforting her.While every instinct told him to throw his arms around her and pull her close, to soothe her with his hands and lips, he knew that wouldn’t lessen the agony.It wouldn’t be a magical fix.He wasn’t sure anything would.It’d probably make everything worse.
Fucking hell!Rejection was a bitter pill, and that’s what she was saying.You were too late.
He let his gaze drop to her lap, and her hands.The temptation to rip the ugly rock from her finger and throw it in the lake was near overwhelming.Perhaps intuiting his thoughts, she pushed her hands into the space between her thighs.
“When did you get engaged?”he asked.
She raised her shoulders.“Not that long ago.Start of the summer.”Her teeth raked her lower lip.“I guess it was pretty soon after Nash and I met, but lots of things changed fast what with the guys getting signed.”
The way her shoulders rose as she spoke, and she curled herself into a smaller space said a lot about how defensive she was about it.People had obviously had opinions.They’d probably suggested all sorts of mean reasons why she’d insisted on him giving her a ring right on the cusp of hitting the big time.
“Didn’t the rest of the band approve?”
“No.They were delighted for us.”
“Right.”He nodded.“You seem close with them.”
“Yeah.”Genuine warmth lit up her eyes again.“They’re good friends.The best of friends.They’ve looked out for me.Been there for me.Continue to be there for me.I love them all to bits.Never want to be without them.”
“So, Nash introduced you?”
Yes, he was digging.He was genuinely curious about her life between the time of their first meeting and now.Things had obviously changed, and not just in terms of her relationship status.
“Kind of.I guess.Not really.We all met at the same time, but the guys are a unit, what with being a band and all.”
Was that what was keeping her with Nash?Belief that she’d lose the rest of her friends if the pair of them parted?He guessed it didn’t help that the buggers had employed her, too, so there were multiple strings to cut to walk away.
“So, how did you meet?”
