Page 83 of Rock Giant
“Oh, knock it off, Jo.It’s fucking obvious you’re way more into Rock Giant.A toddler with permanency-blindness could fathom that, and if you’re not already screwing him, you’re at least contemplating it.”
“I beg your pardon, I am not.”
“Much.”He laughed at the heat rising up her neck, creating a hot plate of her cheeks.
“I’m not fucking him.”Only in the privacy of her thoughts.Thoughts, she was never going to act on.“I’m not trying to fuck him—”
“Then you’re a fucking idiot.”
“I love Nash.”
“Sure.”Jez agreed, managing to make it sound like he was doing the opposite.He leaned forward and stubbed out the ciggy, before settling back and lacing his fingers behind his head.“Do you, really?Is he not really just a means to an end?There are easier ways you could have stuck around, you know.You could have been part of the fucking band.Played the triangle or something.Or pulled a Bez and been our de facto mascot.”He mimicked her shaking maracas.“You didn’t have to tie yourself to him.And you’re not going to lose anything if you wake up and tell him to take a fucking hike.”
Not true.She’d lose everything.The cocoon of safety she’d built.The security of exploring the world in company.A future with walls and Sunday dinners, and domesticity.But most of all, the friends, the family, she’d chosen for herself.If there was no her and Nash, then there’d be no her and Lee, no her and Balin, no her and Jez.It wasn’t that they liked him more than her, it was just common sense.
“Where the hell is this coming from, Jez?”
“Guess I’m just done with playing nice and biting my tongue.Seriously”—Jez leaned forward and rested his hand on her forearm—“what do you even have in common with Curtis besides us and wedding plans neither of you are committed to?”
“What are you on?”
“What are you on?”He matched her glare.She looked away first.“Be honest, you don’t want a marquee on the lawn, sherry flutes and a meringue dress.”
“We haven’t agreed that’s what we’re doing.”
“Pretty sure him and his mum have it all planned out.”
So, unfortunately, did she.She was sure Nash had dangled the handfasting in front of her as a way of saying, we did your version, now we’re doing mine.Except, he’d stood her up.
“Rock Giant seems pretty goddamned sound,” Jez observed.
Jodi retreated into the back of her chair.He was.
Jez lit another ciggy.She watched him smoke and occasionally brush a stray tress of his long wavy hair back from his face.
“If you dislike Nash so much, why are you in a band with him?”
Jez gave her a thin smile that planted grains of ice under her skin.“Wasn’t the plan.”
“You mean because you were supposed to take the lead?”She’d always thought he’d been cool with the fact they’d voted Nash into that role instead.
“It’s pretty darned difficult to play drums and sing lead vocals at the same time.No, I’m not sore.I just think he’s a self-centred gobby wanker, and you deserve better.”
“I’m happy with what I’ve got.”
He outright laughed at that.“You’re happy being ignored except for when he wants something?Babe, we’ve been here well over an hour now.”He woke his phone screen.“Longer.And Nash has spent less than five minutes with you.You don’t even know where he is.And he hasn’t given a fucking thought to where you are or what you’re doing, because out of sight, out of mind, right?”
Alarmingly, that was Nash described to a tee.
How many times had she slipped his mind because she hadn’t been right there in front of him?His failure to turn up to their handfasting was only the most recent example of it.Looking back, there’d been others, like the time she’d spent three hours by a stage door in torrential rain because he’d forgotten to tell security to expect her.
“Fucking fool.In his position, I’d be glued to you.I sure as hell wouldn’t be leaving the door open for a better man to walk through.”
“Do you know where Nash is?”
Jez considered that with his fag dangling from his lower lip for perhaps half a second.“Like you need to ask.We both know where he is.Same fucking place he always is these days.With Balin.”He tapped a bunch of ash away.“You should go do Rock Giant.Seriously.I’ll cover for you if Curtis makes an appearance.”
“I’m not going to screw Rock Giant.”
