Page 131 of Rock Giant
“Yeah, exactly that.”
Jodi scratched at the bottle label and began systematically peeling it from the glass.“Okay, but—”
“There’s no but, Jo.Okay, so that night shouldn’t have happened, but that doesn’t mean we have to let it define us.”
“—you’re still touring with Black Halo.”Thus, Rock Giant would still be a permanent fixture in their lives for the next seven-ish months.There’d be no way of avoiding him, and God help her, she wasn’t even sure that she wanted to.
Fool!Here she was being offered a lifeline, and she was being her own worst enemy, refusing to give up what she’d already cast aside.She’d told him.Right afterwards...She’d told him, and she’d made her choice.Walked away.Left the room.Because her relationship with Nash mattered and giving that up meant giving up everything else that mattered to her too.
Rock Giant wasn’t going to forgive her for that.
“Rock Giant’s irrelevant.Just don’t fucking speak to him.”There were the sharp shards of Nash’s hurt she’d expected.He turned and took a walk away from the table, only to retrace his steps, his expression smoothed of anger.“He’s only a problem if you make him a problem.Look, everything until now is forgiven.It’s forgotten.”A robust swallow made his Adam’s apple bob.“Agreed?Fresh slate.”One hand got shoved towards her.Jodi stared at his outstretched palm.All she had to do was accept it.
“And you’ll stop watching Balin,” she tacked on, shy of their palms making contact.
“For fucks sake,” he hissed under his breath.Then, more of that smoothing out of his features and swallowing his irritation happened.“Deal.”A robust shaking of her hand happened.Rather than letting go once the pact was agreed, he lifted her hand towards him, and turned it over, exposing her inner wrist and the interwoven lines of her recent ink.
“Which one is which?”he asked of the cats running along the black strands of the design.So, she told him, and he nodded, and he asked if it’d hurt, and she told him it was an odd sensation, not painful and not entirely unpleasant, but odd.And after that, somehow, he ended up with his arms around her, and kissing her, and then they were back in familiar territory heading towards their room to make up how they’d always made up after a fight.
Nash left the door wide open.
First test.He didn’t say anything, but she knew he was waiting for her to complain.She didn’t.It didn’t make any sense to give him a reason to erupt again, not when they were busy fixing things.She did want to fix things.And God, he was giving her a chance, when there wasn’t any reason for him to do so.His voyeurism wasn’t remotely comparable to what she’d done.
Did Nash know everything that had happened?She was sure he must do.He’d been right outside in the corridor.And his silence the last few days made far more sense if he did.So much more sense.What she’d done in those moments were far more unforgiveable than her unexpectedly orgasming on Rock Giant’s tongue during their ill-thought-out threesome.
Why had they done that?
Why had any of them done it?
Foolish.So goddamned foolish.
And now this, heartbreaking gentleness, that nevertheless felt scratchy.Nash guiding her, but not in his usual ham-handed way that was all about gratification now, now, now.No, this was tenderness in a hereto unseen way, even if the door was open.
It was fine.The guys would stay away.Give them space.Wouldn’t they?
Balin had practically marched Lee and Jez from the cabin.
They would.They’d stay away.It was important to them as a band as much as it was to her and Nash as a couple.They needed Nash in the right headspace to perform.
She ought to be as into this as he was.So why did she feel so goddamned detached as he tugged the shirt from her back and peeled her panties down?
Sticking with it, was the right choice.The only choice if she wanted to keep her life together.It’s what she concentrated on as he wet his fingers and teased them along her split.
This was how they made things right.
“Want me to go down?”
He usually never...
God, he was trying.Trying so hard to make it right.But didn’t seem to see that putting his tongue there was just releasing an onslaught of memories while simultaneously highlighting his...not ineptitude, that made it sound bad.It wasn’t bad.Cunnilingus was pretty hard to get wrong, but it wasn’t his forte, thus he was unskilled, unlike the man who’d last put his tongue there.
Shit!She needed to stop thinking about him.They weren’t ever going to be, and his presence in her head now was reinforcing the barriers between her and Nash, that the latter was working so damn hard to tear down.
Only Nash deserved space in her thoughts right now.
This was the future.
The one she’d chosen for herself.
