Page 10 of A Devilish Element
“How dare he treat me…us…you like that? This is your house.”
“And my husband has given Bell these rooms. We should leave him to whatever it is that he’s about. Eliza, I did warn you that this would be the likely outcome.”
In other circumstances, Jem would gallantly have risen to Eliza’s assistance. Bell, like many a man of learning, could be hopelessly backwards over the matter of female intelligence, seeing them as inferior creatures, mentally and constitutionally suited only to child-rearing and housekeeping tasks, and on par with domestic pets. When Jem had raised the notion of there being lady physicians in the future, the phlegm explosion had necessitated three clean shirts. However, presently, it seemed wiser to let his bullishness stand for the sake of expediency and Linfield’s dignity.
“Let us go now. It can’t be far off time we changed for dinner. It was most kind of you to offer to help Mrs Honeyfield, but I’m sure Doctor Bell has it in hand, and I didn’t mean for you to come here to Cedarton to administer treatments to my staff. I desired your company. Your friendship. And you to have a restful break.”
“Of course. Forgive me.” Eliza turned to Jane with a bright smile plastered across her face, and they looped their arms together. “You know I never did have the knack of idleness.”
“I know it. I know it well, my friend.”
-3-
Jem
Jem watched them go, while sucking on his teeth. He’d make a point of finding out what Eliza needed and gathering the ingredients for her when Bell was otherwise engaged. “Did you have to be so frightfully condescending?” he muttered as he pushed past Bell, ignoring his blustering defence.
Eliza, with the same formal training he or Bell had received, would have changed the world by now. She would certainly pass the Oxford exam with a fraction of the trouble Linfield was making of it.
Jem wasn’t certain of it, but he’d heard a whisper that his lordship had already attempted and failed it twice, and one of those times, he’d bought the damned answers. Linfield’s particular talents didn’t run to Greek, Latin, mathematics, or theology—not unless you counted ecstatic screams of ‘Oh God!’. Which was not to say that he was a complete pigwidgeon either. Only that his true forte sat outside of the realms of classical study. Sadly, what he ought to be doing, if one ought to devote themselves to that which they truly excelled, was parting others from their morals and cash.
“What the devil was all that about?” Linfield demanded before Bell even jammed the latch.
“Visitors,” Bell replied.
“Your wife, and her guest,” Jem elaborated, trying to maintain a neutral countenance, and evidently failing judging by the deep furrow that rooted in the centre of Linfield’s brow.
“What did she want?”
“Nothing important.” Jem crossed back to where he’d been earlier perched. He noted a couple of the bloodsuckers had so gorged themselves they’d detached and were now fouling the upholstery.
Linfield seeing his line of sight, bellowed, “Bell! Get these confounded things off me. They’re not doing a damned thing besides bleeding me dry.”
“A few more minutes,” Bell responded, prompting Linfield’s elastic features to contort into something vicious enough to make Jem jerk his chair back.
“Now, Bell.”
Jem winced. Ludlow Bell muttered something indelicate under his breath, then tucked his hands behind his back and said, “Very well, if you insist upon disregarding my advice, but know this, my lord, it could be that even one extra minute is the difference between a cockstand and misery.”
“Misery has been a given since I was forced into matrimony. Now, get the bastard things off me. I have had quite enough of your demonic pets. I can say wholeheartedly that they are without a doubt the worst cocksuckers I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter. They cannot live up to the best,” he caught Jem’s eye, “nor even the mediocre.”
The doctor sighed. “Of course, my lord. As is your whim, so I shall make it.”
Removal proved a trickier feat than positioning. The beasts couldn’t be pulled off but instead had to be coaxed into releasing their jaws by sliding a nail under the head end. It was altogether disgusting, made worse by the fact that their hideous, mottled bodies were now bloated with blood. Bell carefully set them on the saucer like delicacies, before wrinkling his nose at Linfield’s still entirely flaccid cock.
“It may take more than one tre—”
Linfield waved him away. The doctor took that as his cue to return his bloodsuckers to their jar in the adjoining room.
“I’ve heard nitrous oxide can—”
Linfield pressed a finger to Jem’s lips, then slid his caress over Jem’s chin and down his throat, causing Jem to stumble over his words.
“—it can throw one into a theatrical attitude. That is… I’ve heard it said it makes you tingle in every fingertip, every toe.”
Linfield huffed. He touched Jem’s lips. “We both know you can do that to me without the assistance of some recently cooked-up noxious emission.”
“Could,” Jem corrected him, and moved out of reach of his touch.
