Page 97 of Revive
“Serious?
“Yeah, pretty serious.
“Guys, you’re going to make me blush if you keep commenting like that,” he said of the strings of messages moaning his loss from the dating pool. An equal number were thrilled he’d found someone who made him happy.
“Yes, Chris, Black Halo have been quiet. Way to change the topic, man. I rather left them at a loose end. Became a hermit for a while when my anxiety and depression was at its worst.
“Yeah, absolutely, they’re not a fun combo. Some days it’s just hard. You wake-up and” —he shook his head— “yeah, you’re not getting out of bed that day.
“The guys are supportive, yeah. Especially Xane. But all of them, really. I’m lucky in that I have some really amazing people in my life. That helps, it really does help. And music for me, that’s a real outlet. You’ll see that on the next album.
“Shit!” He bit his lip and tried to hold back the grin at his own faux pas. “I’m going to get a rap on the knuckles for that.
“Yes, Black Halo will be releasing a sixth studio album. I’m not saying when. I’ve said too much already. Soon, though.
“I don’t want this to be about that. I don’t want this to be seen as PR. It’s not. It’s me. It’s just something that I need to do, for me, and just to say, being in the public eye doesn’t make everything easier. Fame doesn’t fix anyone. If anything it worsens what was already there.
“Yes, Flugwhump44, we do need more understanding about mental health. That’s part of why I’m putting this out there.
“I’m going to wind this down now, because it’s actually quite hard. I don’t usually talk on camera, or this much about where my head’s at.
“I’m doing okay at the minute. It’s always going to be a case of being good sometimes, and not so good others, but I will get through those dark moments. And I guess, I felt it was important to share how I’ve been feeling, and I hope any of you who get dragged down by this stuff, can find a way to do the same. Connections really do help.
“Right, okay, that’s it, I guess. I will read through the comments, but it might take a little while.
“I’m finding this quite overwhelming.
“Thanks for your support tonight and through all the shit. And I’ll hopefully see you all at a gig somewhere soon.”
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Spook
“Said what you needed to say?” Alle asked, when he wandered into the living room. His whole family were gathered, siblings and their partners and offspring. A couple of young children were causing havoc on the floor with a set of building blocks. The scene was happy and bright, and Alle had fit right into it without a moment of awkwardness.
His sisters loved her.
Spook nodded as he took her hand. He settled on the arm of the chair beside her. “Hopefully it won’t cause havoc. I warned the guys, but Sally’s probably going to eat me alive for not running it past her.”
Alle patted his hand. “As long as you got to say what you needed to say.”
“I don’t even know if I did. I’m still not sure I know what I was trying to say.”
“It’s done though, Spook, and it’s been on your mind. Let it go now. Let’s enjoy this night.”
“We will,” he agreed. “But there’s something else I need to do first. Somewhere I need to go.”
“Go?” His middle sister heard him from across the room. She untangled herself from the arms of her new girlfriend. “You promised you’d stay.”
“I’m only popping out for a little while,” he assured her. “I’ve something to do—”
“That won’t wait for tomorrow?” His youngest sister asked.
“That won’t wait for tomorrow. I won’t be gone long.”
When he stepped outside, he found both Alle and Elin had followed him. The latter held a key out to him. “We’re all together for once, you’d better come back. It’s the first opportunity we’ve had to celebrateValborgsmässoaftonas a family in a decade.”
“Truly, I won’t be long.”
