Page 59 of Revive
“You look shit in your teddy bear’s arsehole hat.”
“Boys,” Alle interjected, shoving them to arm’s length either side of her. “What do you say we find ourselves a nice seafront pub and drown some sorrows. You can both help me think of a gift for Spook.”
“You’re on,” Paul replied. “At least with the sorrows-drinking part.” He hopped down off the wall, then offered her a hand to do the same. Ronnie followed suit, while Rock Giant took their rubbish to the bin.
“I’m never very good at gifts,” Ronnie said with a shrug.
That wasn’t true. He’d surprised her with the best gift of her life when he’d arranged for them to see Black Halo play in Monaco.
As they made their way along the seafront, passers-by gave Ronnie an increasingly wide berth. It was hard to say if that was down to the overstuffed ring on his head, his typical black motley, or the fishy-pineapple scent. Either way, walking directly behind him made navigating the crowds way easier.
Said crowds showed no signs of thinning either, even as they moved away from the fair. Ronnie stopped abruptly to let a few cars past. “Guys, I don’t mind going for a cheeky pint or three, but I think I should tell you I don’t have any sorrows to drown, in case that was compulsory. My life’s super peachy right now. I even got fu—”
“I’m thinking of getting another tattoo,” Paul said, cutting him off. “Maybe a spiral goddess. Just need to figure out where it should go.”
“Back,” Alle suggested.
“I was thinking of along the left triceps.”
“Is there space there?”
“Reckon so. Maybe” He twisted his arm both to try and see and to show her.
Ronnie squinted at them both, then shook off whatever thought he was thinking. “Did it hurt when you got your knob pierced? I’ve been meaning to ask. It did, right? Or did they numb it first?”
“Why, you considering one, Ronnie?” Alle asked.
He shook his head. “I had to have someone hold my hand when I got my ears done.”
“Well,” Paul dived onto a chair at a recently vacated table before anyone else could do so. Alle and Ronnie had just enough time to sit before the fourth chair was snatched by an adjacent table. “Truthfully, it only really knacks for a sec or two when they shove the needle through the urethra.”
Alle winced. Ronnie turned green.
“Wimps.” Rock Giant thumped them both on the backs. “It’s not that bad. The actual bit of skin they stick the needle through isn’t that thick, it just looks like it is. And I promise you, I’ve never once regretted it. It feels fab, and the ladies love it. Rides right against the G-spot. Leastways, when you go in from behind.”
“Yeah, but hell no. I never want anyone with a needle coming anywhere near my dick.” Ronnie squirmed in his seat. Rock Giant attempted to put an arm around his shoulder, but the Hook a Duck prize got in the way. He settled for a patting Ronnie on the shoulder, instead.
“Fuck, I think my balls have just retracted up to my armpits,” Ronnie muttered. “Shall I get the drinks?”
“Yeah, sure.” They told him their orders, while he stress ate another packet of sweets, and got out a third, before Alle snatched them off him.
“I’ve been thinking about adding a frenum piercing too.”
“Stop tormenting him, Paul.”
“Nah, I’m serious. I am thinking about it. What do you think? I value a woman’s opinion.”
“I’m not sure I know what that is,” Alle said. “You’ll have to show me pictures. But, quit talking about it now. We can discuss it later. Ronnie, drinks.”
“No, it’s fine.” Ronnie said in a quiet voice. “You can tell us both now. I’ll just cross my legs.”
“After drinks,” Alle insisted.
The conversation didn’t progress much beyond dicks, and pics of various piercings for the rest of the night. Conclusion, yes to one frenum piercing. No to a whole Jacob’s Ladder. Too much metal and most prospective partners were going to veto you sticking it in them.
***
After the pub closed, the three of them staggered back to the causeway, only to have to wait for the tide. “I mean, we could swim,” Paul suggested.
