Page 36 of Revive
“Go with the former. Definitely the former.”
Of course he’d say that.
Outside, they took a stroll along the seawall, before Luthor lead them round the back of the studio and to his and Xane’s place from the rear. The entered the barn conversion via the kitchen door. Luthor waved the kettle at her, but she’d already drunk three cups while sitting with Ash and Ginny. He opened the snack cupboard for her instead and bid her dive in.
Alle munched through a bag of twiglets while Luthor cleaned up breakfast dishes and handwashed them in the sink. The total domesticity of rock stars when the fans weren’t around never failed to amuse her.
“Let me give you something to chew on.” he said, after he’d watched her slip her phone in and out of her pocket multiple times. He stacked a mug on the drainer. “We rarely stick with the people who were with us at our lowest. They can be like lodestones pulling us back down when we’re ready to surface. So sure, it’s complicated between them now, but it won’t necessarily always be.”
That was far from reassuring.
Another mug and a selection of cutlery joined the plates on the drainer. Alle picked up a tea towel, figuring she might as well dry as stand here.
“Nah, let them air dry. Xane will only moan if they wind up with bits on them. The tea towels shed like buggery.”
Okay, back to desperately checking her phone then, even though it was set to vibrate and max volume. “Shit!” She threw it down on the kitchen table. “Sorry. I can’t stop myself.” She’d already picked it up again.
“Give me,” Luthor dried his hands on the tea towel she’d been going to use, then stuck out his hand for her phone.
Alle clung to it.
“You can have it back whenever you want it.”
“Sure?” Colour her sceptical.
“Babe, you can grab it yourself.” He pried it from her hand and slipped it into his back pocket.
Alle sighed and then wilted into a chair. Her elbows clanged against the table. “How do you do it? How do you not think about them and what they’re doing?”
“I’ll likely get a full rundown later, because while Xane’s a great secret keeper, he’s a shit liar. His eyes give him away, one hundred per cent of the time. Why the hell do you think he masks their prettiness with contacts all the time? Secondly, I trust him. And third, and most importantly, fuck monogamy and all its wretchedness. We were born to be polyamorous. Whichever fool it was that decided love had to be between two people should have been shot. I mean think about it. It’s fucking nonsense. Just because at one point in time we need something from one person or feel a connection doesn’t mean they can satisfy everything all the time. Alle, Spook doesn’t love you any less because he needs Xane in his life too. You give him different things.”
“I know,” she said quietly.
“Sorry.” He took a seat at right angles to her. “I didn’t mean to rant, it’s just something that really… sticks in my craw. I don’t understand why people find it so difficult a concept.”
“Because we’re a lot of selfish arseholes at heart.”
“Scared,” he countered. “We’re frightened of loosening the grip in case we wind up losing everything, whereas it’s generally the holding on too tight that’s the issue.”
“I think the hardest part,” she said, “is that I’ve had so little time with him, whereas Xane’s had years and years. That doesn’t feel remotely fair. It’s like he’s poaching the time that should be mine.”
“Love isn’t fair, Alle. And it isn’t about time sheets. Best accept that or you’ll make yourself very miserable, like somebody else I used to know.”
***
Alle was part way through the second box of Ritz crackers when her phone’s bleating interrupted her eating and prompted Luthor to retrieve it from his back pocket. She wiped her fingers on her thighs, before answering the call, which was flashing up as unknown.
Luthor watched her as she tentatively put the receiver to her ear.
“Hey?”
“So, you’re back with him,” said a husky but familiar voice.
Her shoulders relaxed. Luthor gave her a nod, then ambled off towards the kitchen, giving her some privacy.
“Well, hello big brother, nice to hear from you,” she said.
“Hey,” Ewan replied.
