Page 105 of Revive
She confirmed it with a nod.
Ronnie produced a packet of jelly babies from the inside pocket of his jacket, which he opened with his teeth and then gave her to hold, while he squished a green one and yellow one together in a kissy fashion.
“Which one’s which?” she asked.
He shot her a look from beneath his coal black lashes. “Huh? Oh!” He twigged what he was doing with his hands. “They’re not…I mean, I suppose they could be.” He laughed, a sound so delightful, she smiled along with him. “Okay, assuming besties who sometimes bonk is a thing, then where do I get one? Because I’d like one. We should all have one. It’d be ace. Anytime you just felt a bit squirmy, you could call them up and go, ‘Hey mate, fancy a shag?’ And they’d go, ‘Sure.’ And then we’d do it, and there’d be no messy relationship shit to figure out. Just the straight up smutty stuff.”
“You don’t want a relationship, Ronnie?” Alle asked.
His golden retriever energy dipped. “I’m not exactly saying that. It just all seems very complicated. A lot to wrap one’s head around, you know. And sometimes, I fancy a snog. Or a fuck. And I’d like if that was possible without having to align our psycho-cardiogram readings or whatever first.” He’d watched Barbarella the previous night with Xane and Ash, and been totally freaked out by the creepy dolls, and mesmerised by the kitsch.
“Babe, you’ve groupies by the ton.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to end up feeling like a total sleaze for hooking up with some starstruck BushBaby.”
“Is that what they’re calling your fans?”
“Apparently. Seriously though, Alle, have you never thought, ‘Hey, I fancy a bit of cock, but the only one on hand is mine, and I don’t want fucking wrist ache?’ Well, I guess not, because you haven’t got one. But the equivalent… Finger ache? In those instances, tell me it wouldn’t be cool to be able to just call a mate and say, come over, let’s bang, and then carry on being the pals we’ve always been?” He stretched his arm out before them, in the direction of Xane and Spook. “I think they’re on to something.”
“Not sure that’s what they’re about, hun.” From what she’d seen, it was all very abstract and emotionally driven between them, and definitely not about easy hook ups.
“Well, shucks for them, but the sentiment still stands. I still want a bestie with whom I can alleviate my desire for some dick… or pussy. I’m happy to go either way.” He squinted. “Nah! Actually, I’m not feeling very straight. I want dick. A nice big one to play with.”
“Dick talk is banned, remember,” she said choking around her mirth.
Ronnie rolled his tongue around the inside of his mouth. “Thought it was only Spook’s I wasn’t allowed to discuss.” He hitched his feet up onto the seat. “Say, you don’t think your scrumptious boy would like to be my bestie with benefits, do you?”
“Fuck off, Ronnie.”
That made him uncoil like a spring, erupting with laughter.
Alle clouted him with the bag of jelly babies, causing the packet to split and several of them to leap to their doom. Ronnie followed their trajectory onto the floor, flopping off the seat onto his knees.
“What are you kids doing?” Rock Giant asked, rolling towards them with his long-legged gait. “Is this a new form of entertainment, bouncing jelly babies off his head?”
“Oh! You squished Mr Red.” Ronnie reared back on his knees so that he was looking up Paul’s body. “Baby killer!”
“What the fuck are you doing on the floor? Have you any idea how much filth’s down there?” Rock Giant hooked a hand beneath Ronnie’s shoulder and hauled him upright. Ronnie stood grinning stupidly at him for a moment, while Paul squinted at him, perplexed. “You on a sugar high again, Bushie?”
Ronnie was on a perpetual sugar high, or maybe he’d just been born high.
“Vodka,” he muttered.
Alle and Paul exchanged nonplussed glances.
Ronnie snatched his bag of jelly babies from her hands and turned towards the bar.
“Oh, no,” she said, catching on. “My head was bad for days after the last time.”
“Well, if you’re not prepared to share your sexy man with me, I think the least you can do is shots.”
“Except my head already hurts even thinking about it.”
Ronnie made a wiggling motion with his fingertips as if he was transmitting telepathic waves in her direction. “Do jelly babies with me.”
“I’m good, honestly, Ronnie.”
He bounced a jelly baby out of the packet onto her arm and then her nose. “Mr Green says drown me and down me.”
