Page 87 of Refrain
“You’ve heard of mindful colouring books, right? Well, this is next level colouring, with yours truly as your canvas.”
“You mean I get to shade your ink?”
“I mean, it was a thought. I’m told it’s very therapeutic, and I’m not even banning pink.” He pulled up his shirtsleeves. “Pick any bit you want.” He flashed her his abs, which were still as rock hard as they’d ever been.
“I dunno. It’s a bit… intimate.”
Shit! She hoped he hadn’t interpreted this as a booty call.
Paul rolled his eyes. “Well, I assumed you weren’t going to opt for my groin. I mean, you could if you wanted, but I might get ideas, and we both know there’s only one fool you’re interested in, and it ain’t me. I’m just here because every bugger else is out of town, right?”
Not precisely. Although, he had been her third choice after Ewan and Ronnie. But also, phew! Evidently, he understood she just needed a friend.
“I’m kind of surprised you’re not.”
He waved away the notion. “No place to go.”
“You don’t have a home?”
“Nope. Now, how about that hug I’m here to deliver, and then you can decide if you want to tell me why you need it?” he said, before she had a chance to delve into why he was homeless. Paul opened his arms wide to her, then enveloped her in an all-encompassing embrace. It lacked the knitted-jumper appeal of hugs from Ewan, but it gained on the muscle front. Paul was all bounce and biceps and held her with exactly the right amount of pressure to make her feel secure without also feeling trapped.
“You’re a good guy. You know that, right?”
“Might have been mentioned a time or two.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Now, spill. We hugging because you’ve heard from a certain sexy Swede, or because you haven’t? If it’s the latter, I’ve nothing to offer. I haven’t heard a whisper.”
“Not even from Xane?”
A groove formed in the centre of his brow. “He and Ash have spoken, and Ash passed along not a whole lot, so if you’re after an update, I’m not going to be much use.”
“I have spoken to him,” she confessed.
“Babe.” Paul tilted her chin, so she was looking up at him. “You’ve spoken, but sad face. Tell all. The dumb fuck didn’t dump you, did he? If he did, I’m gonna—”
“He kinda did,” she said before he could qualify his threat.
“Ah, shit! Really.” He swaddled her in a second hug. “Need me to go shake some sense into him?”
Alle broke away from his hold, shaking her head. “I got friend zoned. Brought it on myself. I planted the notion. It was better than what I think he was gearing up to.” She paced, unable to contain her agitation. “He doesn’t say a whole lot. Not really. We’ve spoken twice now, and both times it kind of starts off well, then…” She raised her arms and let them fall. Both conversations had been more stilted and awkward than she’d have liked. “Then it goes tits up fast.” She sagged onto the sofa and pulled her knees up. “I got mad at him. I shouldn’t have done. I know I shouldn’t, but he friend zoned me and then in the next breath tells me he’s fucking Xane.” Her voice cracked around the last part.
“Ah!” Paul scratched a hand through the spikes of his hair, then released a huff and flopped down beside her. Alle peered at him inquisitively. She’d expected more of a growl.
“Is it insensitive to say I’m not surprised?” he muttered.
She guessed her stare was likely to burn holes through his shirt, given the nervousness with which he offered his next grin. “Sorry, but that was always kind of a given from the moment Mr Geist took off to find him. I mean, what else do you do when you’re holed up with Xane and no adult supervision? We’ve all been there.”
Her jaw dropped. “That’s not being unsurprised, that’s expecting it.”
Paul sighed and reached for her hand, which he patted soothingly. “I honestly didn’t really think about it, but…sure, yeah. Sorry.” He shrugged. “Guess I know them both a whole lot better than you. Alle, every bugger in the universe has got off with Xane. It’s his superpower.”
“Well, I haven’t, so no, not quite everyone.”
“Only because you’ve never been holed up alone with him. Every bugger who has… It’s how he deals with stuff. Look, the point I’m making is that it’s not worth getting knotted up over. Xane is Xane. Screwing is what he does. It has no bearing on yours and Spook’s relationship. I know it might feel like it should, but it really doesn’t.”
How could that be the truth? “I don’t know how you can even say that with a straight face. You know what happened before.”
“Yeah, that’s why I can say it with a straight face. They’ve history? And in some ways, they’re quite alike.”
They were nothing alike.
