Page 81 of Reflex
“Horrific.At least, that’s how they sound.I don’t know what they’re about, he won’t tell me.”
“Him having bad dreams isn’t a major surprise, considering what happened,” Luthor remarked, returning to their sides.He passed Xane a glass of sangria and took a sideways facing perch on the second sun lounger.“He was assaulted.”
Xane turned his wary gaze on his lover as if he meant to silence him.
“I know,” Alle said.“He’s explained what happened.”Not in explicit detail, but enough so that she agreed with Luthor, that nightmares were hardly an unexpected symptom.
“You don’t think that’s necessarily the cause though, do you?”Xane remarked.
Alle chewed her inner cheek, perturbed that Xane had so accurately pinpointed her fear.“I don’t know.”She took a large gulp of her drink.“Maybe that’s what it is, but he’s so cagey about lots of things, I’m not certain.I wonder if I’m not as much the cause.I know I’m pushing him out of his comfort zone—”
“He needs pushing.”
“Seriously?”Luthor interrupted.“Surely now is the time for kid gloves, not beating him around the head with the sexy stick.”His focus shifted in her direction.“Look, I get that you’re into him, but the timing sucks.”
That was her.The queen of bad timing.
“Pressure’s not what he needs.He requires security, friends he can trust and rely on.Someone to talk to when he’s ready to pour his heart out.”
“I’m trying to be that.”
Given the way Luthor swayed his head, so that his sun-bleached hair flopped over his eyes, she wasn’t so certain he agreed.
“I need some shade for a bit,” he declared.
After he’d left, Xane laced his fingers before him and put his thumbs to his lips.“Forgive him.He still doesn’t know Spook very well.Luthor has some idea that because they share a common language, he’s a better idea of the inner workings of Spook’s mind.Whereas I think common experience tops that.Spook’s complicated.Maybe counselling would do him some good, but nobody will ever get him through that door, so why focus energy on the unachievable.I’d rather look at alternatives.Figure out what’s going to work for him.”
“You think him engaging in a relationship will help.”
“I know it’ll help.The boy’s frustrated.”He leaned forward.“Alle, he’s convinced himself that if he has the sort of relationship he wants the world will fall apart.You need to convince him otherwise.”
“I’m doing my best.”
He nodded.“I know.He needs somebody like you.Someone who’ll stick by him and prove to him that…” He shrugged.“Know what, never mind.I’ve seen him smiling today, that’s a good thing.He seems relaxed.”
She chuckled.“He’s okay as long as I don’t sneak up on him.But, I’m not going to let him run away this time.”
“Good.Turn around.I’ll do your back.”
His hands were warm and smooth, his touch gentle.When his thumbs worked into the knots she hadn’t realised were there in her shoulders, Alle groaned.“God, it’s a good job your boy- and girl-friend aren’t here, they’d be wondering what the heck we’re up to.”
Xane chuckled along with her, but eased up on the massage.“Luthor’s not so possessive.Dani, on the other hand…” He tilted his head to one side.
Alle lifted off the lounger and turned around.She sat in the space Luthor had earlier occupied on the second sun lounger.“How come she’s not here?”
“She’s not much for swimming.Or anything that involves showing off skin.Besides, she and Ginny are dress shopping again.”
“For a wedding dress?”Spook had mentioned that he’d been co-opted as best man.
“Apparently.Though, fuck knows why it’s taking so long.It’s all they’ve done for weeks.Women and their frocks.”He rolled his eyes.“It wouldn’t be so bad if Ash gave a damn, but he wouldn’t care if she showed up in a paper bag.Soppy romantic that he is, he just wants to give her his name, see his ring on her finger, and fuck like rabbits on their honeymoon.”He raised his voice.“Although, unless he gets on with it, that ain’t happening any time soon.”He dropped back to a normal speech volume.“We’ve the rest of this week off and next, then the festival season starts up.After that, we’ve the album launch and dates in North and South America.There’s not much space for a wedding in the schedule.”
“Sounds busy,” she said, subdued by the thought of Spook being constantly on the road again.How would they maintain a relationship if he was never in one place for more than a few days?It wasn’t as if she had the sort of job that would allow her to fly out to wherever he was at a moment’s notice.Nor was she about to throw away her hard-won career to go on the road with him.
On the other hand, pinning him down seemed to be the only way to make any inroad into his heart.
The thought of them being apart, and him hitting reset on their relationship again, made her insides churn.They’d made progress, but he was like a skittish pony, prone to being spooked by the tiniest thing.
“You do call him Spook because he’s quiet, right?”she asked.
