Page 182 of The Moon Sister
María went to her daughter and put a hand over her mouth to physically stop her talking.
‘Lucía, for once in your life, you will listen to me. Whether you are happy about this or not, you must put yourself and the baby first. It is not just the baby that can get sick, it is the mother too. Do you understand?’ María released her hand, hoping that putting Lucía in fear for her own life might bring her to her senses.
‘You mean I might die giving birth to it?’
‘There is a better chance that you won’t if you look after yourself now.’
Lucía slowly looked up at her mother, then went into her outstretched arms. ‘What will become of us all if I can’t dance?’ she whispered.
‘Having a baby is not a life sentence. A few months and you will be back beating your little feet even faster than you do now!’
‘What will we say to Papá?’ Lucía sank onto the bed. ‘He will be so shocked. It is a disgrace to have a baby without being married.’
‘Lucía.’ María sat down on the bed next to her daughter and put an arm around her. ‘You know as well as I do that doesn’t have to be the case. You must tell Meñique what has happened—’
‘Never! I will never tell him! And neither must you!’ Lucía pulled out of her mother’s embrace and rounded on her. ‘You have to promise. Promise me now! Swear on Pepe’s life!’
‘But I don’t understand; you love him, he loves you. He told me himself he wanted children . . .’
‘If he had, he would have stayed with me! I curse him, Mamá. I never want to see him again for as long as I live.’
‘That is anger and hurt pride talking. If he knew about this –’ María indicated Lucía’s stomach – ‘I am sure he would come back.’
‘I do notwanthim back! And I swear,’ Lucía stood up, ‘if you tell him, I will run away and never return. Do you hear me?’
‘I hear you,’ María sighed. ‘Although I entreat you to think about it. I cannot understand why, when there is a happy solution for everyone, you would ignore it.’
‘You may be able to spend your whole life with a man who has disrespected you, but I cannot. I hate him, Mamá, don’t you understand that?’
María knew it was fruitless to continue the argument. Just like José, her daughter had a stubborn streak and was too prideful, even in these circumstances, to ask Meñique to return to her.
‘So, what is it you want to do? I mean,’ María changed the way she phrased the question, ‘where do you wish to go to have the baby?’
‘I don’t know. I must think. Maybe I’ll just stay here and hide away in the apartment?’
‘If you wish it to be a secret, for now anyway, I think it would be sensible to leave New York.’
‘Because theNew York Timesmight see my belly as I am out walking and criticise my morals as well as my dancing?’ Lucía replied bitterly.
‘If it did get into the papers, I am sure it would not take long for Meñique to hear of it. If you are determined not to tell him, then . . .’
Lucía began to pace slowly. ‘Let me think . . . I must think. Where should I go? Where would you go?’
‘Back to Spain . . .’ The words were out of María’s mouth before she could stop them.
‘It is a long way away, Mamá,’ Lucía smiled, ‘but at least they can speak our language.’ She walked to the window, placed her small hands on the sill and pressed her nose against the pane.
‘Perhaps you should sleep on it and we will talk tomorrow.’ María stood, not wishing to sway her daughter with her own selfish wants and needs. ‘At least the war is now over and we are free to travel anywhere you choose. Goodnight,querida.’
*
‘I have decided, Mamá, and I hope you will agree it is the right thing to do.’
María looked at her daughter, hovering above her as she lay on the floor beside her bed. Lucía was still dressed in the same clothes she’d been wearing last night, her eyes shadowed by deep purple patches.
‘I will go wherever you suggest,querida.’
‘Well, I think it is best if we go home.’
