Page 157 of The Pearl Sister
‘Correct.’
‘So what do you think of “Celaeno Mercer”?’
My grandfather stared into the distance, as though his thoughts were flying back across all the generations of our family. Then he raised his eyes to mine.
‘Celaeno, I think it is perfect.’
* * *
When I woke up the next morning, I felt really odd. Like my time out here was over – for now – and there was somewhere else I needed to be, but I couldn’t think where. And having that thought meant I had to let reality begin flooding back in to help me decide on what exactly I was going to do with my life from here. I didn’t even know what day it was, let alone the date, so I walked into breakfast and asked Francis, feeling really embarrassed.
‘Don’t worry, losing track of time simply means you’re fully engaged in what you’re doing. It’s the twenty-fifth of January.’
‘Wow,’ I said, feeling amazed that less than a month had passed since I’d left Thailand, and at the same time wondering where the time had gone.
He stared at me quizzically. ‘You’re thinking where do you go from here, aren’t you?’
‘Yeah, I am a bit.’
‘I don’t need to tell you how much I’d like it if you stayed for a while. Not in this hut, of course – I have a very comfortable house in the Alice with plenty of room for the two of us. But maybe you have other places to go, other people to see . . .’
‘The thing is . . .’ I rubbed my palms on the top of my trousers, feeling agitated. ‘I’m just not sure. There’s a couple of situations that are a . . . bit confusing.’
‘I find in life that there always are. Do you want to talk about them?’
I thought about Star, then Ace and Chrissie, and shook my head. ‘Not right now.’
‘Fine. Well, I was thinking that I’d probably head back to the Alice later today, as long as you don’t want to stay here any longer. Even I’m looking forward to a decent bath!’
‘Yeah, that sounds really good,’ I agreed, trying to force a smile.
‘I also have some photograph albums there which I could show you.’
‘I’d love to see them,’ I said.
‘For now, why don’t you take a walk? That’s what I always do when I’m having to make decisions.’
‘Okay, I will.’
So off I headed, and as I walked, I imagined going back to London and, with my newfound style, standing in my beautiful apartment and painting every day all by myself. Granted, Star would be only a train journey away, not living on the other side of the world, but I knew she would never be coming back for longer than maybe an overnight stay, so we could catch up on each other’s lives. Ace was also in London, locked up in some scummy prison amongst murderers and sexual deviants. At the very least, I felt I owed him an explanation, and a show of support. Whether he believed me or not, it didn’t really matter. It was just the right thing to do.
Then there washome-home– Atlantis, and Ma, both of whom I hadn’t visited for almost seven months, but I couldn’t imagine my future there. Even though one day, I did want to paint the view across Lake Geneva with the mountains behind it.
That was Europe. So, what about Australia, the country I’d always been too terrified to visit? Yet, the past weeks had been the most amazing of my whole life. It was cheesy to even think it, but it felt like I’d been reborn. Like all the bits of me that hadn’t fitted in Europe had been stripped down and rearranged so that they – I – was a better ‘whole’. Just like my installation. I’d never managed to get it perfect, but thenI’dnever be perfect either. But I knew I was better, and that was good enough.
My grandfather, Chrissie . . . they were here too. So far, I hadn’t had to earn their love, because it had been offered to me unconditionally, but I knew I wanted to in the future.
And as I stood in the middle of this huge, open space with the sun beating down far too hard on my tender head, I realised there wasn’t a decision to be made.
I turned tail and walked back to the hut.
* * *
‘I belong here,’ I told my grandfather as we sat in a restaurant in the Alice a few hours later, eating my new favourite – kangaroo. ‘It’s as simple as that.’
‘I’m glad,’ he said, the inherent joy in his eyes telling me just how much he was.
‘Although I do have to go back to England to sort out some stuff, you know?’
