Page 5 of Don't Want to Fall
Devin yanks her hand free first, turning away.
Did she feel it too? Or is she creeped out by the strange man who looked at her like he wanted to devour her and wouldn’t let go of her hand?
Probably the second one.
I think.
“I’m Tabitha Conners,” Tabby announces proudly, rounding the back of the van to rejoin us just in time to break up the awkwardness. “Assistant tour guide.”
“Assistant Tour Guide Tabitha Conners, it’s very nice to meet you.”
“You can call me Tabby. Everyone else does.”
“Tabby, do you think we’ll see a moose today? It’s on my bucket list.”
“What’s a bucket list?”
“It’s a list of really amazing things you want to do see or do before you kick the bucket.”
“Kick the bucket?”
“She means before you’re gone from this world,” I quickly interject. Tabby is no stranger to death having lost both her grandparents on her mom’s side in the past couple of years. But that doesn’t mean I want to talk about dying today. My sweet little girl loves to fixate, and I’d rather that obsession be about Bella.
“There’s a decent chance we’ll see a moose today,” I add, hoping to redirect the conversation back to wildlife.
“Not only is this the best time of day,” Tabby says, picking up the conversation without missing a beat. I breathe a sigh of relief, hoping the death talk is done for today. “But it’s also rutting season.”
“What’s rutting season?” Devin asks.
“My daddy says rutting season is like this big, busy party where boy moose—they’re called bulls—try to impress girl moose—they’re called cows.”
“Cows?”
“I don’t like it either,” Tabby agrees, her voice so serious I’m struggling to hide my smile. “Do you want to sit in the front seat?”
“Isn’t that your spot?” Devin asks her.
“Yeah, but I see animals all the time. You should sit up front in case we see Bella.”
I’m a mixture of both proud and conflicted. Proud that my little girl is such a considerate young lady. Conflicted because having Devin sitting beside me is only going to exacerbate the wildly inappropriate thoughts I’m already struggling to tame.
There’s something about this woman that has me sucked in.
It makes no fucking sense.
“Bella?” Devin repeats to my daughter.
“She’s my favorite moose. She has a baby this year, too.”
“Eddie or Edwina?” Devin asks.
“Who?”
“You’re probably too young for Twilight,” she mumbles. “What’s the baby’s name?”
“We’re still figuring out a name,” Tabby says. “It has to be perfect, so we can’t rush it. That’s what Daddy says.”
“Is that right,Daddy?” Devin asks, flashing me a flirty glance.
