Page 48 of Lilah
He grips my face harder and I cry in pain. He holds my face up at his, his dark green eyes bore into mine horrifyingly.
"I wish you weredead,"he says emotionlessly before pushing my face away harshly.
I catch sight of his face as he walks away. Slight regret coats his eyes but he doesn't do anything to help me.
It takes me a good twenty minutes but finally, I'm in my room.
I fall onto my bed in pure exhaustion.
The sound of glass plates and cups shattering reaches my ears. I place my earbuds in my ears, turning on my odd playlist of mixed music.
"Your taste in music is what's making you crazy," Jake's voice calls out and my mouth drops open.
"You're just jealous that you can't find songs as good as these on your own," I give him a little smirk. He throws a pair of pants at me.
Unfortunately, they're probably dirty. Nasty dingleberry.
"If you want me to keep helping you clean your disastrous room, you best keep your dirty clothes to yourself," I point at him and he throws blue boxers at me.
I scream.
"Oh hush, they're clean...?" He trails off in question and I shiver in disgust.
"Azalea Carson!" Dad's voice travels up the stairs and Jake and I both pause our cleaning.
"Yes?" I call out nicely, afraid he'll get mad at me.
"I'm going to work," he appears in the doorway.
"This house better be spotless by the time we get back from work," he narrows his eyes at me and I give him a nod.
"Jake, make sure she does it. Love you son," he leaves out the doorway and I feel my eyes go blurry with tears.
Jake's warm arms envelop me and he holds my head against his shoulder.
"I'll help you, it's okay," he says soothingly.
"I love you, okay?" He says the words I desperately wish my father would say to me.
"I love you too," I hold onto him tightly as if he's going anywhere.
Thank God he's not.
I jump awake and look around for Jake.
He was just here, he was just in my arms. It felt so real.
I hadn't had a memory like that in a while.
Those were the types that take the most out of me. The ones that remind me of how much I lost after Jake passed.
I find the clock and see that it's only three thirty in the morning.
I'm terrified of going back to sleep. I know that I'll have another dream. Maybe even a worse one.
My mind begins to wander off to the day of the crash but I cut those thoughts off immediately.
Last time I went over what happened that day, it wouldn't stop replaying over and over again.
