Page 9 of Roses Are Dead
“That’s my son. The Lord says, ‘Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself.’ Ephesians.”
Carl rattled off the chapter and verse before his father could. “I remember.”
“But as the representative of his household, she should learn better decorum, and deal with the discomfort. And let me remind you, she’s not his wife, yet.” His mother was obviously not convinced of my value. Her tone implied that it would be a cold day in Hell before Carl and I were married. And that was a topic I wholeheartedly agreed with her on.
John, Beth’s husband, interrupted their “discussion.” “Beth’s checked in. They’re allowing only three visitors; did you want to see her?”
Carl’s mother lifted her chin and looked to her husband for direction.
“We don’t want to tire her out too much. I’ll come in after to pray with her.”
“May I visit with her?” I asked Carl, not John or his parents. John would say yes, enthusiastically. His parents? Hell no. They were still piqued at me for living with Carl for the last few weeks. But I knew that this entire farce would wear thin if I stayed in this room too long. It must have shown on my face, because Carl nodded.
“Shame,” Carl’s mother muttered.
I didn’t bother to listen to the rest. John had to rush to keep up with me.
“Walk any faster, and they’ll know you hate their guts.”
I stopped. “They’ve known that since I was twelve. I’ve made no secret of it.”
He laughed quietly. While Beth and John had been together for almost as long as humanly possible, it wasn’t nearly as long as the history between Beth, Carl, and me. Despite that, John knew all the gossip, and anything I’d ever confided to Beth. “How long are you going to keep play-acting with Carl this time?”
“I’m leaving tonight.”
“Will you need a ride?”
I might, but if I told him that, he’d show up. And then Carl would have one of his drug buddies shoot him. A tragedy, it would be called. A father of four, husband to a terminally ill woman, dead at age thirty. “No.”
John shook his head. “Call.”
“As soon as I can. Don’t wait up.”
“You know it will be a long night with kids. They’re upset she won’t be home, so…”
He’d be up. And he’d need help taking care of the kids tomorrow so he could get some much-needed rest. “I saved a little cash for a cab just in case.”
“Make sure Carl doesn’t find it,” he whispered.
“Don’t worry about that. I have it covered.” I had it in a Ziploc bag I taped under the cilice. The irritation from the tape was almost more comfortable than the bits of hair and metal woven into the fabric.
I scrubbed my exposed skin, donned the protective gear, and masked up before entering Beth’s room.
She was pale and had lost more weight. “Hey.” I tried to put as much positive energy into my smile so it showed in my eyes and transferred to her.
“You made it.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Wouldn’t miss it. This is going to do the trick. I just know it.” The cancer had come back despite being in remission for years. I knew the odds were grim, but not impossible. And that little sliver of hope I shoved to the front of my thoughts, willing it to be real.
Her smile faltered. “Is Carl behaving?”
I nodded. The very last thing I wanted was for her to worry about me. “I’ve been watching him like a hawk. You’ve got nothing to worry about. He’s probably going to live to a hundred with me cooking for him and keeping his house clean.” But after today, all bets were off. I’d lace his food with arsenic or hemlock as soon as Beth was better. I kept that sentiment inside.
While John suspected the deal with Carl was all an act, Beth knew it was. She’d been there when I listed all the reasons I’d never marry such an awful human. So, when Carl announced our engagement in front of the whole family and all of Beth’s doctors in attendance, I had to think fast for an excuse to placate her. I’d come up with the rationalization that I was living with Carl so he couldn’t do a damn thing to jeopardize his sister’s treatment—not wouldn’t, because we both knew he would if he could.
So, it was partly true.
She smiled weakly. “John’s parents are going to help with the children. But I told them not to mention it in front of any of my family. You’re covered just in case you need a little more time to get away safely.”
