Page 104 of Roses Are Dead
“I’m sorry.”
She blinked. “No, you’re not. You’d do it all over again five times ten.”
“That’s seven times seven.”
“No, you know what I mean.”
I did. We’d talked about so much when we were younger. Nothing was immune from dissection. “Did you hear about the donor search?”
She snorted lightly. “Bikers, huh?”
I shrugged. “They’re not all bad.”
Her eyes met mine. “I don’t think they are. I think they’re a lot like you. Good people doing everything they can to crawl out of the swamp. And learning to swim in the cesspool while doing so.”
“That’s not fair. You know my weaknesses.”
“John says he’s big.”
I suppressed a laugh. That was an understatement. “Okay. I got a chance to study them both out in the waiting room. Picture John as a dark barbarian with thicker thighs, waist and neck. Longer hair, of course, and piercings.”
Her mouth opened slightly. “I hear he’s got a mohawk.”
I frowned. “A Viking braid. And sure, probably not even close to authentic, but it’s kind of sexy.” I lifted an eyebrow remembering how good it felt to dig my fingers into it and moan his name.
“You’re in love.”
I dumped her hand and crossed my index fingers between us. “Stand back Satan.”
She laughed.
That was balm to my soul. “I love you.”
Her smile turned pensive. “I know, but you need someone to fly the night skies with.”
Wow. I forgot I told her that. “That’s only in dreams.” It wasn’t real. Even if I did feel it almost as acutely as if it were, my body stayed behind each time.
“Are you safe with him?”
No, but that was part of the appeal. “He’s not a good man, if that’s what you’re asking. But he’s one of those acts of service types. And he tried buying me. Twice.”
“What?” Beth didn’t believe me.
“Okay maybe the first time he turned Carl down, but?—”
Her hand gripped mine, tightly. “What’s that about Carl?”
Shit. I didn’t want to tell her that. But I wouldn’t lie to her either. “Your brother wouldn’t let me leave that first night. And Bear showed up.” I faltered for a moment but pushed on.
“Your brother offered to sell me to him.” I laughed. But it cut short as my breath caught. “If it had been anybody else? I think I wouldn’t be alive to tell you all this in person. Do you understand why I say that?”
She nodded. Her eyes held too many of our shared secrets.
“That’s why… despite his grumpy exterior, I know I’m safe.”
Beth smiled again. It was so pure and sweet, I wanted to touch it. But knew better, so I stroked her hand instead. “My life for yours. My heart beats at your side.”
The smile fell. “Rose,” she cautioned.
