Page 14 of Outlawed Treat
“Are you okay, Cali?”Tiffany asks, her voice rushed in panic as I barely hear the door open and feel her pull me into her arms.
Tiffany holds me until I stop collapsing against her as I’m thrown back in a memory from my fourteenth birthday.
Walking up to school with Kreed and Caleb, I’m laughing hysterically at something Kreed has said about his mom.He’s currently telling us about her yelling at him for leaving the toilet seat up and her almost falling in.Laura can lose her mind when she gets angry.It doesn’t happen very often, but every now and then we see that side of her.Usually it’s directed at something that happened at work.Kreed usually doesn’t have her anger directed at him because he tries so hard to make her life as easy as possible.It’s what he’s always done from what I’ve heard from Caleb and everyone else I now consider my family.
Just before we reach the parking lot, Caleb takes my hand and butterflies immediately erupt inside.My heart starts racing and I can hardly catch my breath.This is how I always feel lately when I’m around my best friend.Until this very moment I had no clue what this feeling is.It wasn’t until after a conversation between Shy and Sam about how they felt when they got with Slim and Playboy that I truly understood I was in love with Caleb.Now that I know, I have no clue how to deal with my feelings.No one even knows because I’m still trying to come to terms with this.It’s only been about two days since this all happened.That’s not enough time to confide in anyone.
“Are you okay, ‘Lil Bit?You seem a little flushed,” Kreed asks me, laughter filling his voice making me wonder if he’s managed to figure out what’s going on with me.
“I’m perfectly fine,” I manage to whisper while trying to pull my hand out of Caleb’s.
“I don’t think you are,” Caleb says, as I look up at him and find him smiling down at me with a knowing look in his eyes.“I got you somethin’ for your birthday, Reina.Do you want it now?”
“Yes, please,” I respond as Caleb comes to a stop next to me and reaches into the side pocket of his backpack.
Caleb pulls out a silver bracelet that already has charms on it.One of them is a book, there’s a motorcycle, football, flower, and the last one is a heart.He wraps the bracelet around my slender wrist and fastens it before stepping back and taking a look at it.The sun hits it just right and makes it shine while the gemstones shimmer and glisten.Looking back up at Caleb, I can’t help but smile at him as my heart flutters and even more butterflies explode inside me.
“It’s beautiful, Caleb.Thank you so much,” I tell him as he takes my hand in his once again.
Seeing Caleb smile is one of my favorite things in the world.His entire face lights up, his eyes squint, and his nose wrinkles up like a little boy.It’s even better if he’s laughing his real laughter.Not the fake one he tends to use with the kids at school who are trying to get into his friend group.The lock of hair that always seems to hang over his forehead when he’s not wearing his hat covers his one eye and I just want to reach up and push it back out of his face.Right now Caleb looks better than ever before and I kind of hate myself for noticing when he won’t release my hand from his.
“Should I leave the two of you alone?”Kreed asks, more laughter filling his voice as I snap out of my thoughts on how cute Caleb is and turn to face him.“You know I got you your coffee and donut for your birthday.Been waitin’ to give it to you since we met up in front of your house.You usually need the coffee after a full night of studyin’.Didn’t you say you have a test today?”
“Funny, Kreed,” I mumble, reaching out to accept the coffee and donut I’ve just now noticed him holding.“Let’s get to school so I can finish studying.My test is first thing this morning.”
Caleb gives my hand a small squeeze before we continue making our way to school.He knows I’m worried about this test because it’s math and I’ve been struggling lately.We’re in the same class and he seems to breeze through the work while I have to work longer on every single problem we have in class and for homework.Math has never been an issue for me until this year.Now, Caleb and I spend hours on the phone together so he can help me work through each homework problem and study my notes before going to bed each night.It’s only made me fall deeper in love with him.Yes, I understand I’m only fourteen years old, but I know what I feel and if I could choose the perfect person for me, it would be Caleb without a doubt.
The three of us walk into school and the guys are greeted by everyone we come across.Caleb never lets go of my hand as they form some kind of protective shield around me.No one ever gets close because they are with me.When we stop at my locker, Caleb opens it while I juggle everything in my hands until Kreed laughs and takes the coffee and donut from me so I can get the books I don’t need this morning out of my bag and put them away for this afternoon.Once I’m done, the three of us make our way to the library and enter one of the study rooms so we can go over my math notes and homework while I eat and drink my birthday breakfast.
“Are you okay?”Tiffany asks me once again when she finally manages to pull back from our embrace to look down at my hand.
“I’m okay.Not really, but I can’t take any more medicine until Kreed and Caleb get here.It makes me pass out completely and I can’t take care of the kids while I’m out of it.I’ve never really taken medicine when I’m alone with the kids so they have all of me,” I try to assure her while hiding the wince and tears that want to escape the longer I stand here with her.“If you could help me get the kids out, I’ll be okay to get them inside on my own.”
“I can help you get Rory up on the porch.Then I’ll leave,” Tiffany says, walking around to the other side of the vehicle while I open Bryce’s door and help him with the seatbelt and then out and down to the ground.It’s hard and hurts my hand more even though I don’t use it, but that doesn’t matter to me right now.I’m only worried about my son and making sure he doesn’t get hurt because I didn’t protect him.
Tiffany and I walk up on the porch where she sets Rory’s car seat down just in front of the door before handing over the diaper bag.Using the keypad that’s been installed, I unlock the door of the house and let Bryce go in before me.Tiffany hands me the car seat where my daughter sleeps and I smile once before heading inside by myself.Closing the door behind me, I make sure to set the alarm before doing anything else.Carrying Rory in the living room the second the alarm’s set again, I carefully place the car seat down on the floor in front of the TV stand and turn to look at the table in front of the couch.A feeling of dread settles deep in my stomach as I notice the picture of Darren’s been moved.It’s one of him in full uniform with the flag behind him.He’s overseas in the picture and I know Caleb or Kreed took it to send me while they were gone.I have so many from them that I’ve placed all over the house after printing them out.
Turning around, everything of Darren’s left in the house has been moved or adjusted slightly.Just enough for me to notice because I’m the one who placed everything in our home.Pictures turned a fraction of an inch so they aren’t quite facing the same way.The medals he’s received over the years are all out of order and the football trophies he acquired in school and during summer camp are also moved.What really gains my attention is the football he got his senior year of high school.It’s been completely moved and is on a different shelf entirely.
“Bryce, stay here with your sister,” I tell my son as he looks at me before nodding while I pull out my phone and pull up Kreed’s number in case someone is still in the house.
Walking from one room to the next, I take in every single detail and find so many things out of place.They all belong to Darren.Not one of my belongings or the kids have been moved or touched.Going into the kitchen, the garbage grabs my attention.It needs to be emptied and Kreed assured me he’d take care of it when he gets here after going to the garage.Looking at the top of the can, I see empty beer bottles.Darren always threw them away instead of rinsing them out so I could return them with the rest of the cans and bottles when he’s not home and I need money.The beer bottles are Darren’s shitty brand and a chill rushes through my entire body as my heart starts beating out of my chest and my breath catches.
My vision goes hazy as I lean against the counter and slowly slide down to the floor in a crumpled mess.Tears slide down my face as I try every technique I’ve ever been taught to control my panic attacks from getting out of control.Before it gets too bad, I press call on Kreed’s name.
“I’m on my way ‘Lil Bit,” Kreed answers his phone in seconds but what feels like a lifetime from when it starts ringing.
“Help me,” I whisper before the phone falls from my hand.
My face and neck have gone numb and my arm is slowly following.This happens every time my panic attack is extremely bad and I know if Kreed doesn’t get here soon, I’ll end up blacking out from lack of oxygen and how fast my heart is beating right now.The sounds in the house of Bryce playing quietly by his sister fade into nothing as my vision starts to fade even more.Kreed will get here to take care of the kids.He’s never been able to get me out of my panic attacks for some reason.He can pull me out slightly, but not enough I can ever break free of them completely.Caleb is the only person who has ever been able to stop a panic attack from continuing or starting at all.He’s the person I rely on so heavily when I feel this way and need to know someone has my back.Right now, he’s the last person I want to see but I can’t push him away.That’s the last thought I have as my vision fades completely and I panic even more about leaving the kids alone while I’m like this.
