Page 25 of Wicked Vows
No cuddles.No kisses.Nothing.
“Get dressed,” he clips, and there’s no desire in his tone.I want to believe he’s teasing, to believe this is part of some test or game I don’t understand yet.
“Didn’t I make you happy?”My voice comes out meek, smaller than it has ever been.I don’t want it to crack, to break.I don’t want him to know his icy demeanor is killing me on the inside.
“Of course,” he tells me.His fingers drift along my hairline, brushing the strands away from my face.I want to melt into his touch, but he’s already pulling away.He doesn’t meet my gaze.He refuses to look at me at all.
He picks up the red dress, shoving the silky material into my limp, unresisting arms.“Go back to your room,” he says, giving me a push toward the door like an employee or an unwanted child.
My heart plummets, dizzy and disbelieving, then shoots back up to get lodged in my throat.“You want me to leave?”The question tastes as bitter as it sounds.I want to throw up.
He’s already on the move, grabbing his own clothes, covering the skin that I can still feel the lingering touch of against my own.
“I thought we…you…” I try to articulate my thoughts, but I can’t vocalize what I want to say.I can’t make myself finish what I thought, because the truth of his betrayal cuts too deep.
Can’t he see how hurt I am?He must realize how jarring his change in behavior is.But all he does is smile like this is normal.Like it’s okay to kick your wife from your bed.
“It’s late,” he says, and he’s holding the door open for me, ready to be rid of me.
I clutch the red dress, the one that I vow never to wear again.I take a shaky breath and back away as the sting of his rejection swallows me whole.
I drag my feet, hesitating at the door like he’ll suddenly change his mind.I don’t realize…I don’t realize how obvious I am.How lost and raw and unaccustomed to pretending this isn’t crushing my soul I am.I half-expect him to grab me, to pull me back into his room, to show me that this is all part of how much he wants me, of how much he needs me.How he needs the thrill of the chase.
He doesn’t stop me and I won’t beg him to love me.
I try not to look at him as I go, try not to let him see how much this destroys me, but my reflection catches in the window at the end of the hall.The glass throws my expression back to me like an accusation, and I’m ashamed to see how weak I appear.
Hurt.
Surprise.
Panic.
All these emotions flood me, clouding my vision along with my tears.
I stumble through a tangle of thoughts the feelings I was developing for him a jumble of uncertainty and unraveling hopes.I can’t even dress myself.
Anyone could step into this hall and see me in nothing but my birthday suit.
With every empty, hollow step, I grow smaller.Less of a woman and more of a girl who doesn’t know what she’s agreed to.I’m alone in a house with no place for me.
Nico has no room for me in his life.
He has no plans of treating me like anything more than his property.His dirty little fuck toy.And I gave myself over to him so freely.I didn’t make him work for it.Next time he'll be the one left broken and begging for my affection.
I enter my room, and it feels too much like a hotel.Like a place I’m not allowed to make mine.It’s beautiful, and cold, and empty.Just like my husband.
What little belongings that were packed for me are stored in the closet.They don’t even feel like they are my own anymore either.They are memories of a place I was never wanted.A family that never loved me.
Why did Nico bring me here?Why did he marry me?Why did he share so much of himself only to rip his affections away the moment we came back to this house?
Did I disappoint him?Did I say something?Do something?Not do enough?The questions shove themselves against each other in my head.I wonder whether it was a mistake.I wonder if I am a mistake, and now he sees it.
There’s something about this house.
I glance around my room wishing for those wings right about now.i;d even settle for the shadow snakes.
The room holds no answers, and all I want is to scream.I want to throw something.Break something like Nico has broken my heart.
