Page 62 of Inevitable
I didn’t really need to breathe right now.
I neededher.
Probably always had.
Definitely always would.
I was too damn old to lie to myself.
“I think we should have another fling,” she finally said as she clung to me. “We have time before Wren comes home. I just want to spend that time being with you. I know it sounds crazy. I’m not asking for commitments or a future. I just want to live in the moment this one time and be with you.”
My baser instincts were telling me to take her up on that offer before she could change her mind.
However…
“Not happening,” I said flatly.
Her body tensed, so I went on to explain. “I want to be with you, Emma, but it isn’t going to be a fling. You mean more to me than a fuck or two. I’m not going to pretend that you don’t. I’m too old and set in my ways for bullshit. I’m down for living in the moment, but we’re going to actually date. It’s what I actually wanted years ago, but I was too afraid to admit it. We had a deal and I stuck to it. No deals this time. We’ll figure out the future later, but I’m going to treat you the way you deserve to be treatedbeforewe have sex. We did things ass backwards last time. That isn’t happening again.”
She groaned as she released her tight grip on my neck. “It’s not going to be easy for me to keep my hands off you.”
I grinned. “I never said that you had to keep your hands off me. Honestly, I prefer that you don’t because I already knowthat I’ll definitely be touching you. I’m just saying that we’re not having sex until you know that there’s more between us than just the physical. Hell, it won’t be easy for me, either, but I want a hell of a lot more than we had years ago. Figure out where you want to go on our first date tomorrow, and we’ll start living in the moment together. I’m probably going to suck at it because my instinct is to plan everything carefully.”
“How do you feel about going to Mackinac Island?” she asked.
“I’ve heard about it, but I’ve never been there,” I admitted.
I knew that it was an island that prohibited motor vehicles, so it wasn’t possible to drive around there, but the photos I’d seen of the island had been picturesque.
“I haven’t been for a long time,” Emma said wistfully. “But I love it there.”
“I’ll book a hotel. Pack a bag in the morning. We’ll stay for a few days.”
Hell, if Emma was longing to go there, I’d stay there as long as she wanted.
I didn’t really care where we went as long as she was with me.
I could deal with living in the moment with Emma if that’s what she was comfortable with right now.
At some point in the future, we were going to be done with living in the moment and the end result would be exactly what I really wanted.
Yeah, I still had some reservations about whether or not I’d make a good partner to her, but…bottom line…there wasn’t another guy in the world that would work as hard as I would to make sure that she was happy.
I’d fucking learn to compromise.
I’d learn to be emotionally available for her.
I’d learn to be the man that she needed.
I’d learn to deal with the fact that she was the only person in the world who could make me completely irrational.
Emma Lockwoodwouldbe mine.
I had no choice but to make that happen in the future.
I was a smart guy, and I wasn’t about to blow a second chance at getting exactly what I’d wanted since those days we’d spent together in Virginia Beach.
I’d been an idiot back then, but I wasn’t about to make the same monumental mistake twice in one lifetime.
