Page 54 of Inevitable
“Come on, Marshall,” Brock said impatiently. “You two look at each other like you’re crazy about each other. I know Emma. She still has feelings for you. I’ve never seen her look at anyone else that way. You might be a little more guarded, but you’retaking care of her like a guy who cares about her. You’ve replaced everything in her cottage that needs replacing, and you’ve bought her more gifts than she can handle.” He waved his hand toward the lawn. “Her yard looks like a picture out of a magazine it’s so perfect. I think that’s your way of showing her that you care because you’re not a demonstrative kind of guy. And you two looked pretty cozy in the water at the beach a few days ago.”
Brock and I were getting a little more open with each other, so I saw no reason to not share a little bit more. “I’m not sure I everstoppedcaring,” I admitted. “Emma was more than a fling to me fourteen years ago. She was special to me. The timing was all wrong. I was a SEAL commander and I avoided any and all relationships. At the end, I struggled with not exchanging contact information. I wanted to, but I didn’t think it was fair to her. She was an incredible woman and a lot younger than I was. I couldn’t offer her much. I was always gone or always involved in my responsibilities. I thought she deserved better than whatever I could offer. In hindsight, I should have made sure she knew how to contact me before I left. I went back to the beach house later that morning after I came to my senses, but she was already gone.”
“So you wanted a relationship with her?” Brock questioned.
“Selfishly, yes. But I eventually convinced myself that the way we parted was for the best. I was injured on duty shortly after I met her. She would have ended up with a boyfriend that was in and out of the hospital and a total asshole.”
Brock shook his head. “You wouldn’t have been an asshole to her. She was pregnant, remember? And she would have been by your side throughout your entire recovery. That recovery period would have looked a lot different for you with her by your side. What do you want from Emma now?”
I thought about that for a minute.
Hell, things probably would have been different.
Brock was right.
I would have been thinking more about Emma and our child rather than being a selfish asshole feeling sorry for myself because my career was over.
I could have also been there to help her financially in the beginning when things were tough for her and Wren.
Ishouldhave been there and leaving that beach house in Virginia Beach without leaving my number had been a monumental mistake that I now regretted. Maybe I had felt like I was doing the right thing at the time, but I should have said to hell with our deal and left my damn number.
What did I want from Emma now?
“Nothing?” I answered roughly. “I can’t expect or want anything from Emma. She raised our daughter on her own. Her life is here in Cherry Cove with Wren. Eventually, I have to go back to San Diego. I can’t leave Wyatt and the other guys in charge of headquarters forever. They have wives and a work life. They didn’t sign up for that.”
Brock shrugged. “All relationships take some compromises. If things work out, I’m not sure Emma would mind moving to San Diego. Her mom is there, and Wren loves it there. It’s an expensive place for a single parent, but you two could work something out.”
And if things didn’t work out?
Hell, I didn’t even want to consider that possibility.
It was a lot safer not to take that risk in the first place.
Emma and I had always had intense chemistry, but a relationship was something else entirely.
I’d never had a long-term relationship.
It was very likely that I’d fail at being a real partner to someone.
I sucked at showing any kind of emotion, and Emma needed a guy who would cherish her the right way.
“You’re giving a lot of advice for a single guy who doesn’t have any entanglements himself,” I grumbled.
Brock grinned. “I’m about to turn forty. If I haven’t found a woman who can put up with me by now, I never will. I was Delta. I avoided relationships for the same reasons you did when you were in the military. Now, I have Last Hope and I disappear at a moment’s notice. I also travel when I need to for book events. Maybe I’m getting set in my ways. I like the way my life is right now.”
Did he?
Or had he sacrificed his own personal life for Last Hope?
The whole Michigan team was extremely active in Last Hope.
Maybe I’d never stopped to wonder if they were giving up too much to be the primary operating team for the volunteer rescue operation. “Are you avoiding relationships because of Last Hope?”
“Nah,” Brock denied. “It’s not like there aren’t married guys involved in Last Hope. Honestly, I prefer to be single.”
I frowned at him. He was probably being truthful. Most likely, he’d never met a woman he wanted more than his freedom.
“It’s probably none of my business,” I said. “But I noticed that none of you seem to be suffering financially from giving a lot of your time to Last Hope. I know that your career is lucrative, but I’m curious.”
