Page 49 of The Villain
“I wasn’t drunk. I’d been drinking, yes, but I wasn’t drunk. And another thing, you should have told me you were a virgin.” He physically moves me out of his way, but he doesn’t leave. Instead, he holds onto me, looking down at me.
“You’re fucking unbelievable.” I try to pull free of him.
“You make this fucking hard for me, Allegra.”
“And you think it’s a walk in the park for me?”
He opens his mouth, closes it, gives a shake of his head. His eyes search my face. “Did I hurt you?” he asks finally.
“You know what? I’m having a really hard time following, Cassian. One minute you’re literally forcing my mouth open to make sure I swallowed the stupid pill and the next you’re asking me if you hurt me? What do you think?”
“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t… I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Well, I’d give you a gold star, but it’s too fucking late for that. Oh, and just FYI, you’re hurting me now. Let me go!”
His hands tense on my arms, but he must see it’s true because he loosens his grip. His eyes search my face, and I hate how they make me feel. It’s ridiculous. It’s nonsensical.
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for hurting you. I should have been gentler. Especially once I figured out it was your first time.”
God. I hate him. I hate him so much. Why is this so confusing? Why is he so infuriating? Because I think he means it. I think he’s truly sorry for hurting me. But I can’t deal with that.
Cassian Trevino is the villain of this story. He’s not the hero.
“So, I’m confused,” I start, holding back my tears, infusing my voice with as much venom as I can. “You’re not actually sorry for fucking me? You just should have done it differently? Is that what you’re trying to say?” I try to get free.
“Stop struggling.”
“Then let me go.”
“You’re not walking away from me. Don’t you get it?”
“What’s the matter? Not used to girls who don’t fall to their knees to worship at your feet? Well, I have news for you, Cassian Trevino. I willneverkneel at your feet. I will never worship you. Because I don’t want you!”
He snorts, walks me backward until my back is at the wall. He sets his forearms on either side of my face caging me in. His electric gaze searches my face for whatI don’t know, but I do know one thing. I hate how I feel when he looks at me like this. I hate myself for wanting this. For wanting him to look at me. Because what I just said? It was a lie and if I wasn’t sure, those moth wings fluttering in my belly confirm it. The sensation lower, deeper, between my legs, confirms it.
As much as I hate myself for wanting Cassian Trevino, I do want him.
“I had had a very bad night, Allegra. A very bad three nights, in fact.”
“I’m having a bad week, Cassian. A very bad week, in fact.”
“You and I do not have to be enemies. I don’t want that.”
“Well, too bad for you because Iamyour enemy! You asked me last night if I missed you. You said you’d like it if I missed you. Well, let me be very clear, I did not. I would not. Ever. I don’t want you, Cassian. Understandthat.”
He pushes a hand through his hair and there is that look again, that moment of vulnerability I had glimpsed last night. But I push on.
“I want to go home,” I say.
“Home?” He laughs outright. “Haven’t you figured out yet that home isn’t safe for you, Moth?”
Again, he catches me off guard and a beat passes before I respond. “Butthisis safe for me?You’resafe for me?”
“Do you know what Malek offered me in exchange for erasing your brother’s debt?” I furrow my brows. “Do you? Can you guess?” He doesn’t give me a chance,not that I would anyway. “You, Allegra. He offered me you.”
“What? You’re lying. I’m not his to give.”
“But you are, and you need to stop fooling yourself about that. Your father would have sold you to Moore?—”
