Page 35 of Love Notes and Late Nights
“Let me explain.”
“I said, I’m not talking about this,” Wolf repeated, this time through gritted teeth, still not shifting his eyes toward Harris.
Harris’ heart plummeted, and he wanted to smack himself in the head for being so stupid. He didn’t know why he thought Wolf would feel the same way. They’d known each other for years, and there had never been anything but friendship between them. But he thought there was something going on between them recently. He didn’t imagine that. He couldn’t have imagined that. “Don’t be mad. It was—”
Wolf spun around. “One more word and I’m taking the other car.”
Harris froze at the emotion in Wolf’s eyes because it didn’t match his tone. It wasn’t anger or rage. It was hurt. Slinking back in his seat, Harris remained quiet, with his head down, feeling like pure shit, while Wolf sat tight-lipped and staring straight ahead.
Neither said a word on the ride back to the hotel, and when they got there, Wolf didn’t wait for the SUV with the bodyguards to pull up and escort them inside. He jumped out and fled into the hotel, which made the small crowd of fans outside rush toward him. It could have been a dangerous situation, but Wolf was so fast that he flew by them. Hotel security was on the ball and rallied toward Wolf, making sure he got on a private elevator alone.
Harris slowly made his way in the same direction with the bodyguards shadowing him while he berated himself all the way up to their floor. Now he stood in front of their hotel room, unsure if he should enter. He could hear Wolf inside, stomping around and slamming things. This was going to be one awkward and fucked-up conversation, but it needed to be had, whether or not Wolf wanted to talk.
“Can’t you go somewhere else?” Wolf barked as soon as Harris opened the door.
Harris shook his head. “No. This is my room too.”
“Fine. Then I’ll leave.”
“No.” Harris quickly shut the door and stood in front of it, preventing Wolf from leaving.
Wolf raised his brows. “Really? First you kiss me, now you want to throw down?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Sit.” Harris extended his arm toward the couch. “We’re not kids, Wolf. You’re not running away. We’re gonna sit down and talk about this.”
Air puffed in and out of Wolf’s nostrils several times before he finally said. “OK. Fine. You want to talk. Talk.”
Now that Harris had the opportunity to explain, he didn’t have any words. Where the hell was he supposed to start? He wanted to tell him everything—that he’d been in love with the guy for years, that it broke his fucking heart to watch him with Ethan, how much it hurt him to see Wolf pining for someone who didn’t feel the same way. But Wolf wasn’t interested in Harris. Not beyond friendship. That seemed clear.
“Now you’re quiet?” Wolf threw his hands up. “Forget it. It’s done with. It’s in the past. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”
“But it did happen, Wolf. And you kissed me back, so don’t act like it was all me.”
Wolf’s mouth dropped open, and his eyes grew wide. “You kissed me first!”
“It doesn’t matter who kissed who first.Wekissed.”
“Why? Why did you kiss me?” The anger that had been in Wolf’s eyes turned soft, and he looked vulnerable. “Did you think I was going to jump into bed with you? Why does everyone think I’m so fucking easy?”
“No! Of course not. And I don’t think you’re easy.”
“Then why did you do it?”
Harris wanted to yell, “Because I love you!” But he didn’t dare reveal his true feelings like this. “We had a moment. You felt it too. Don’t act like you didn’t.” He let out a deep breath and softened his voice. “I’m not going to pretend it didn’t happen, because it did. Let’s be honest, though. It was nice. But I shouldn’t have done it, and I’m sorry. You’re one of my best friends, Wolf. I would never do anything to hurt you or take advantage of you. We were having a great time together. Just the two of us. We were laughing. You were eating that giant hot dog that looked like a big dick. Then my finger was practically in your mouth. I felt something and went with it. You did too.”
Wolf was quiet for a second, then grunted a laugh. “Iwasdeep throating that hot dog.”
Harris smiled softly as some of the fear that he ruined their friendship dissipated. “Next time, no hot dogs.”
“Deal.”
“So, we’re good?”
Wolf nodded. “Yeah. Do me a favor? Let’s keep this between us. OK?”
As if Harris was going to tell Ethan what just happened. “Fine by me. I’m going to bed.” He gave Wolf’s shoulder a squeeze before he headed to his room and was happy to see that his friend didn’t flitch or react to the touch.
The evening replayed in Harris’ head as he brushed his teeth and washed his face. Everything had been perfect up until the dreaded kiss. Not dreaded, he corrected himself, because nothing about it caused him dread. He did regret it, though, only because of Wolf’s reaction. Maybe he should have waited until there was more of a connection between them or, rather, more on Wolf’s end. Harris had felt that connection for years.
